Discovering

Whew!  Today was a day, and I am pooped.  Probably not as much as my friend Carolyn though, who is 28 weeks pregnant and was kind enough to get us into Port Discovery in Baltimore on her membership.  I have been feeling like a lame mom who never does anything special with her kids the past couple days, and even went so far as to write down some fun local things to try and do over the next couple months.  I am realizing that although I am pretty limited as to what I can do with the girls while Emily's mornings are filled with preschool and Charlotte naps in the afternoon, next fall it will be all but impossible to do anything during the week since Emily will be at all-day Kindergarten.  I don't want to sacrifice Charlotte's naps often, if at all (I NEED her to still be napping this fall so I can once again enjoy an hour or two of peace every day) but I really do want to do fun stuff while I can still take advantage of being able to do it during the year when most other kids are in school.  Lo and behold, Emily's preschool was unexpectedly cancelled today and I got my opportunity!

I didn't do nearly as much prep last night as I should've so when Carolyn and Abigail arrived this morning I was still scurrying around eating the last of my breakfast

Strawberry blueberry oatmeal with chia seeds, scrambled egg, a tiny bit of Kona Coffee

 and trying to get the girls ready.  Eventually we were all properly secured in my van and we set out.  First stop, of course, was Baltimore Tea and Coffee for my free coffee of the day.  I got the creme brulee flavor, which definitely beat Common Grounds coffee from yesterday.

Then we were off!  Actually, I also had to stop for gas.  THEN we were off!

The girls love Port Discovery, and I love it too...all except for the fact that it is SO HARD to keep track of Emily in the huge 3-story playground that has entrances and exits on all 3 floors of the museum.  Luckily Charlotte doesn't really like going into the playground much yet, so I kind of just try to interest Charlotte in activities in the main area and try to make sure I get a glimpse of Emily every 5 minutes or so while I follow Charlotte around.

The girls and I were especially excited to see the Clifford playground since Emily is such a big fan (her name IS Emily Elizabeth after all) and it wasn't there yet the last time we visited.

Clifford!

Charlotte, not quite excited enough about Clifford to actually go interact with him

I don't remember this from last time, but it was really cool

Toddler Alligator

Interactive "water"...so neat

Emily specifically requested this picture

 I scarfed a Babybel Light somewhere during the morning, then hastily snapped this extreme close-up of my even more hastily assembled salad.

Greens, leftover quinoa, blue cheese, hummus blob, balsamic vinegar

 It was pretty crowded due to the presence of quite a few school groups, so we had to plop down on the floor to eat our lunch.  It worked.

She's eating it the lunch I packed!

 After lunch we went up to the water area, and THIS time I utilized the jackets and Crocs provided by the museum that I didn't realize were there until the girls were already sopping wet last time.

When Charlotte started to get tired of being in the water room she just went over and luxuriated in the sheer number of Crocs.  The girl is obsessed.  She kept wanting to put on different colors though that didn't fit her.

So many choices

 After changing the girls into dry clothes we went back through the Clifford area one last time...

Worn out

 ...then we headed for home.  The girls helped Carolyn push Abigail in her stroller.

Once we got home I ate a Tanka Buffalo Jerky Stick (I didn't take a picture) and then made myself a smoothie.

Orange, banana, greek yogurt, milk, vanilla extract, nutmeg, ice

It was almost 4 by then, so I decided not to try and make Charlotte nap.  I sat down and started messing with pictures on the computer, then noticed Charlotte had been quiet for awhile.  She reappeared about 10 minutes after she disappeared calmly pushing the frame of her stroller and casually wearing my hat she had apparently dug out of the hat box in the front hall along with some of my lip gloss from the drawer judging by the smears on her teeth.  I got up to snap a picture of her, and she went NUTS running around  like a crazy girl.  I blame the hat.   Does this look like a girl who has missed her nap for 2 consecutive days to you?

Will had a beer club meeting tonight so I had to have dinner ready right at 5 so he could scarf and run back out.  It was fine with me, because I was hungry by then anyway!  I bought a big bag of frozen veggie mix at Costco last weekend and that was the inspiration upon which dinner formed in my head tonight.

3/4 cup sweet brown rice, veggies and salmon in a soy/rice vinegar/oyster/maple/garlic sauce

 I was stuffed after dinner, but I still went back and finished the girls' leftover veggies.  And rice (about another 1/2 cup).  And an oz or so of salmon :-(  Controlling my eating would be SO much easier if the girls didn't constantly leave full plates of perfectly good food sitting on the table, and also if I had any self-control at all.

Then I even  made my dessert tonight.  I was feeling worn out from the day I guess and I tend to eat when I feel that way, like I "deserve" to be able to eat whatever I want after a tiring day.

Once

And again

 In order to stop myself from continuing to eat until my stomach exploded (and in order to keep Charlotte awake but not whining until her bedtime) I took the girls out on a "Full Moon Walk".  I put them in their PJs and we took a turn about the block while admiring the full moon.

When we got home and I had put both girls to bed Will was back home, so I ate the mango he had cut up for me,

then had a barley wine he had brought home.  Apparently I didn't feel like I had indulged enough yet tonight.

So good though

So yeah, not really proud of my eating tonight, but I did my best to document it so I could own up to it.  That's something, I suppose.  I am having such trouble getting back in control of my eating...but I have to keep trying because the alternative is definitely not what I want.  Well in the short term I absolutely did want all that food and a beer, but long-term I don't want to live with the results of eating like that.

Jinx

Yep.  I did jinx us by mentioning Charlotte's sleep habits.  There were lots of wet sheets and crying episodes last night, followed by a refusal to stay in bed for naptime.  I had read awhile ago that one way to keep your kid in their toddler bed was to put a crib in their room too and tell them that if they didn't stay in their big-girl bed they would have to sleep in the crib again like a baby.  Well, as is usually the case with Charlotte when faced with an ultimatum, she happily accepted my "threat" as an "offer" and spent the second half of her (sleepless) naptime in the Pack 'n' Play.  Tonight she chose it over her toddler bed so she's snoozing in there, wearing a diaper again.  Two steps forward, two steps back it seems. 

It was cute when she wandered bleary-eyed and bed-headed into our room for a snuggle when she woke up for good at the reasonable hour of 7:30 though (instead of shrieking "MAMA!  MAMA!  MA!  MA!  MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!").  We'll get there again soon, I hope.

I tend to be late getting downstairs for breakfast, but it's because my girls are such snugglers in the morning and I hate to waste those moments.  Before long they will be teenagers who hate me so I take advantage when I can.  The fact that taking time to snuggle also provides a couple additional minutes of laying down in my bed doesn't hurt either.

But I always eventually make it downstairs for breakfast.

Egg with salsa, 2 biscuits Barbara's Bakery Shredded Wheat with blueberries, 3 pecans, skim milk and a sprinkle of erythritol plus KONA COFFEE!

 Emily asked me why I was putting nuts on my cereal, and I told her because I liked the added protein.  Will was quick to correct me and point out that pecans are pretty low in protein so I was mostly just adding fat to my breakfast.  Thanks honey :-P  I WOULD put nuts that are better for you in my cereal but I am trying to work my way through the massive amount of nuts we have in our cabinet before I buy any more, starting with the most annoying (i.e. the unshelled pecans).

Of course he's absolutely right.  I hate it when that happens :-)  The only nuts lower in protein and higher in fat are macadamias, which we also have because my in-laws brought those back for us from Hawaii too.  I am mostly giving those to the girls because macadamia nuts bought around here taste like hard wax but macadamias straight from Hawaii are buttery-soft and AMAZING but so naughty.

I did not fizzle out halfway through spin class though, so I think the (nutritionally sub-optimal) nuts DID help a little.  I really didn't want to go to spin this morning.  Like REALLY didn't want to go.  But I forced myself up onto that bike and as usual I was glad I did.  I say it every week but I also forget it every week...nothing makes me sweat like spin!  And everyone should get super-sweaty once in awhile.  I will at least twice this week because I plan to take Lauren's spin class on Sunday :-)

After spin I headed downtown while snacking on a Babybel Light to get a cup of free coffee!  The FNP is doing Coffee Madness, and I am taking it very seriously.  I may not make the drive all the way out to Emmitsburg or Mt. Airy, but I think it's a really cool idea that will give me a reason to check out some places I've never even heard of before and of course I love free coffee.  I tried out Common Grounds today...tasty, but they're not quite as good as Baltimore Tea and Coffee, who they're going up against.  I don't know how any other place could be as good as a shop that roasts its own beans, but I was surprised to find that Common Grounds brews their coffee fresh, cup by cup using a glass drip coffee maker so they get points for that in my book.  My free coffee ended up costing me 25¢ though because I had to feed a meter to park nearby and I accidentally gave Charlotte a quarter instead of a nickel to pop into the slot.  Oops.

Lunch was rushed, as it always is on Tuesdays, but I managed to make AND eat my whole salad at home today.  That might be a record!

Greens, cucumbers, orange bell pepper, 1 oz smoked blue cheese, balsamic vinegar, a blob of hummus, about 1/3 cup leftover quinoa salad

We spent our early afternoon at the dance studio, but Emily's class ended early so that all the girls could try on their costumes to make sure they fit.  I CAN'T WAIT to see Emily dancing up on the same stage that I danced on when I was her age.  I know Will would rather gouge his own eyes out than be forced to watch another dance recital (he was unfortunate enough to start dating me back when I was still performing in them and he feels like he has already suffered enough!) but I expect many of the theater's seats will be filled with Emily's family members, including her Daddy.

My tiny dancer

 I remembered to make my smoothie before Charlotte's nap today, but I did indeed drink it right after making it, sharing some with both girls.  And I did not overfill it on purpose to be artsy...I just wasn't paying attention but MY isn't that a lovely spill?

1 orange, 1 banana, skim milk, 1 cup nonfat plain greek yogurt, 12 almonds, vanilla extract, ice, nutmeg

 Emily was excited to tell me about the volcano they made today in preschool and asked if we could make one at home too.  We've played with baking soda and vinegar before and she was less than impressed, but I guess doing this at preschool "validated" it and made her more interested.  I couldn't turn down a request to perform some "Science!", so we made ourselves a volcano.

No volcano is complete without some food coloring

Adding dilute acetic acid, I mean white vinegar

Woo!

Poke

Interesting

Getting a bit more hands-on

Getting a lot more hands-on

 Emily enjoyed this quite a bit, so I plan to do some more experiments with her soon.  I know this post makes it seem like I am trying to make Emily into a little me...maybe I am.  Perhaps I need to focus more on exposing her to other interests so she can make a more informed choice when she is old enough to have her own preferences.

As the afternoon wore on, I had a snack.  We are lousy with Hawaiian foods around here these days.

Pineapple

 I remembered however that pineapple is very high on the glycemic index and thought I should balance it with some protein and a bit of fiber.  As if I need an excuse to have peanut butter.

Peanut butter, made with peanuts and hazelnut skins

 Dinner was another salad!  We had lots of mexican-y ingredients laying around so I made fajita salads.  This thing was FILLING!  Emily ate all of hers too, which surprised and pleased me.

Greens, black + pinto beans, 4 oz chicken breast, corn kernels, salsa, 1 oz Cabot 50% light cheddar, nonfat plain greek yogurt, sautéed red and orange bell peppers and onions

 All it needed was avocados, which we unfortunately didn't have :-(

We don't have any peanuts, and my typical dessert was not as good with pistachios last night so I decided to simplify while reducing calories tonight and just had some dark chocolate.

Theos mint dark chocolate

I kind of hate packing lunches for the following day (I know, cry me a river), but I'm going to have to get used to it when Emily starts going to all-day Kindergarten next fall.  I would probably like it better if my kids actually ate much of what I ever pack...I guess that will come in time as they get a bit older and less distracted when they eat lunch out of the house.  I am going to practice tonight since we'll be headed out on an adventure tomorrow and while I don't like packing the lunches I love having the food with me and ready to pull out at the first sign of low blood sugar when I'm trucking around with the kids in tow.  I put some baby corn in there which always brings down the house, so hopefully these lunches won't go to waste!

Just Kidding

My stomach bug did not, in fact, get me back on track.  I did some nutritional wandering this weekend.  But I was perfect today, so there's 1 day down.

I'd really like to see a loss this weekend.  I had a great loss 2 weeks ago but gained 0.8 pounds on my trip.  That's not bad, but if I don't lose a bit this week I am going to start to feel like I've been stuck in the same place for 3 weeks which will be bad for my motivation so I'd like to make at least a little progress.  I have not been behaving in a way that would result in progress though, so I have my work cut out for me this week.  I also have a month and a half until my sister's wedding which is enough time to lose another chunk of weight, so I am trying to let that be my motivation.  I'll have to think of another goal once that is past.

Breakfast today was simple and typical, except for my beverage.

1/2 cup oats, 1/2 cup skim milk, 1/2 cup water, strawberries and bananas, a sprinkle of chia seeds, scrambled egg with salsa and KONA COFFEE!

 My in-laws just got back from Hawaii and were kind enough to bring us some 100% Kona coffee.  I love this stuff and haven't had any in about 5.5 years...since WE were in Hawaii.  It's way too expensive to buy here!

I did Bodypump this morning and it was PACKED.  I enjoyed it, but I really wish I could stay for the whole class!  I'll be able to in a couple months once Emily gets out of school, so I just have to deal until then.

I snacked on a Babybel Light cheese wheel while going to pick up Emily, then we came home for lunch.

Greens, cucumbers, red peppers, babycorn, shredded kale, raisins, 1 oz blue cheese, chopped pear, 3 pecans, 1 tsp olive oil and a balsamic sprinkle

 I love having smoothies as an afternoon snack, but it's so tough when Charlotte naps for 2 hours during my prime hungry time and the blender wakes her up!  I thought about making my smoothie ahead of time today but #1 I never actually remember to do this when it's actually time to make the smoothie and #2 I probably would drink it as soon as I made it because I am no good at delayed gratification.

I especially don't want to wake Charlotte during her nap these days because we changed her to a big girl bed this weekend, so if she wakes up I can't really just leave her in the crib to see if she'll fall back asleep.  She has been doing fantastically so far though, she hasn't once come out of her room by herself!  We even went so far as to let her sleep in her toddler bed without a diaper and so far we've had 2 naps and 1 overnight with no accidents.  Not quite perfect, but amazing considering we hadn't even started to potty train Emily at this age.  This is milestone #2 that I've wanted to delay because I didn't want to have to deal with the inconvenience right now but we've ended up doing EARLIER without any problem.  Charlotte never ceases to amaze me with how fast she learns to do things!

As an aside, I realize that by putting this out there onto the internet I am pretty much guaranteeing she'll come into our room 5x a night for the next 2 weeks, but the urge to brag overpowered that knowledge.  Oh well.

Anyway, she eventually woke up and I made my smoothie (and shared it with her).

Nonfat plain greek yogurt, light coconut milk, frozen berries, 1 banana, flax seeds (can you tell I took a sip before taking a picture?)

 The smoothie filled me up well, but I still needed a bit of something before dinner.

Pineapple

 Dinner was Happy Healthy Mama's Quinoa Vegetable Stew with some shrimp on the side.  I added some mushrooms and red peppers to the stew and used less liquid...it ended up really reminding me of mashed potatoes!  With so many veggies and the quinoa it was much higher in nutrients and protein though.

After dinner I was still a bit peckish so I made myself my dessert.  We didn't have peanuts so I used pistachios instead this time.

2 Tbsp raisins, 2 Tbsp sunspire grain-sweetened chocolate chips, 2 Tbsp pistachios

 I didn't intend to have any banana ice cream, but Will and the girls decided they wanted some and there was a bit left so I did everyone a service and finished it up.

Banana soft serve

 I got hungry again after putting Emily to bed and I wish I had just powered through but instead I had another cup of the quinoa mixture.

Not the worst thing I could've snacked on in the evening I guess, but probably not 100% necessary.

Phew!  It has been awhile since I've forced myself to sit down and actually post my eats for the day.  I'll admit I am not enjoying it nearly as much now as I used to back at the beginning but I NEED to do it to keep myself accountable so I apologize at the boring-ness of my posts!

BRAT diet

Hey there, it's been awhile!  I have been gone partially because I've been busy and super-tired, and partially because I was in a disorganized phase.  When I let blogging slip I tend to let everything else slip too, and unfortunately my eating was one of the things I am not proud of this week.

The trouble started on Tuesday.  I did just fine, took pictures of all of my food, but I felt really greedy at dinner.  I blew through my serving, then rationalized that I could have another serving because it was pretty low-cal (I made this with very little rice).  Then I ate several more bites while I was putting it away, but was able to stop the madness before all was lost for the evening.  I had blogged earlier in the day already so I figured I'd just double catch-up the next day.

Then Wednesday stress got the better of me.  I was fine until I made Maryea's Banana Peanut Butter Crunchies.  I thought they'd be a nice treat to welcome Will home when we picked him up at the airport, and they are completely free of any sweeteners except fruit so I thought I was ok around them.  I also thought it would be a good idea to break up the driving so I took the girls to Great Harvest to use my second Eversave coupon, then over to visit my sister-in-law and her new puppy, then we arrived at the airport in time to run around a bit before Daddy got there (vs. driving straight to the airport and back which would have the girls in the car for over 2 hours straight).  Well it sounded like a good idea, but add in thick fog, driving rain, constant requests for potty breaks on major highways and the fact that my children are crazy and I was STRESSED.  I ate about 6 of those peanut butter suckers, then continued to eat other treats when I got home.

I was back on the wagon Thursday until I got too hungry for lunch and then the old voice in the back of my head started saying "You've done so well...you deserve a good 24 hours off your diet.  Have a couple more treats!"  That continued throughout the night of course with me snacking on a chocolate bar, having a beer, and eating a Nana's Nos cookie all by myself (it's actually more like 3 servings!).

I was feeling depressed about my eating this morning and worried about how tough it would be to detox and get this naughtiness out of my system over the next couple days.  Then something fortuitous happened (I can say that now because I am  on the mend).  I got a stomach bug!

It wasn't really fortuitous.  I spent half a miserable day alternatively curled up on the couch being jumped on by girls and running to the bathroom where I was pushed aside by one girl so she could watch more effectively and asked repeatedly by the other "Why you goin' BLEEEEECH in the potty, Mommy?".  Being sick when you have kids SUCKS.

Luckily I started to feel less nauseous by the afternoon and now I'm left with just infrequent waves of burning lower stomach cramps and a weak, washed-out feeling.  It sounds unpleasant but I'm able to eat again and go hours without visiting the lavatory so I am counting myself lucky that it passed so quickly.

Psychologically I feel like it has evened out my poor eating control for the past 2 days and it has helped me detox (my digestive system should be squeaky clean by now).  I'm hoping this was just a small bump in the road and I can continue along my weight loss journey for awhile longer now without having to fight cravings too much.

The worst part is that I was so good the entire time I was on vacation, then I lost it when I got home.  I blame the excessive alcohol consumption.  I spoke too soon about not having any ill effects from all the drinking!

It doesn't count because it didn't "stay with me" for long, but here is my breakfast for today:

Nature's Path juice-sweetened millet rice flakes, juice-sweetened dried cranberries, 2 pecans, skim milk + a scrambled egg with salsa

After that, I didn't eat anything until around 1PM, when I cautiously sipped some tea and tried some Suzie's Whole Grain Thin Cakes, which the girls were busy crushing and scattering all over the house while I was laying on the couch.

Those were ok and I was feeling like I was ready for a bit of protein (a very little bit) so I had some chicken broth...

...followed up with some applesauce and a banana to round out the BRAT (bananas, rice, applesauce and tea) diet that is supposed to be good for people with upset tummies.

I was feeling well enough for some cinnamon

Now that I just looked it up, I realize that BRAT actually stands for bananas, rice, applesauce and toast, not tea.  I guess I took some liberties, but that was probably for the best since the only bread we have is a hefty loaf of Great Harvest High 5 Fiber...not so gentle on the stomach.

My project for the day was making dinner.  I was determined to serve pizza because #1 I figured I'd be ok to eat it by dinnertime and when I was not feeling nauseous I was wanting pizza and #2 I didn't want to have to eat out again after having done so many times in the past week due to various people traveling.  I moved slowly, but got it put together by the time my savior husband arrived home and I was, indeed recovered enough to cautiously enjoy a slice.

Easy now

Buoyed by my success, I had another.

And now as I sip the peppermint tea Will brought me before he went up to bathe the girls, I am feeling almost normal again.

That's one way to get your eating back on track.