Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Happy No Ear

I've read many blogs today that discuss how bad the year 2009 was and how much better everyone hopes 2010 will be. I'm inclined to agree. In 2009 the economy sucked, Will was sick most of the time, and I feel kind of like I slugged my way through the year. We definitely had many good things happen too and I'm not discounting that, but I will be glad to leave behind the year of being pregnant with a sick husband while trying to mother a toddler.

When I think about resolutions, I can think of lots for NEXT year, but in 2010 I know my body and my time will be almost completely claimed by a baby and a toddler so I am giving myself a free pass for this year. Instead I am feeling pretty good about what I have accomplished in the last week.

Christmas = Survived

Just barely

Train table = Pimped

Relaxation Trip = Accomplished without incident. Relaxation achieved.

My hair = Cut

I figure I will not have time to get to the salon anytime in the next couple months. I also figure I am going to a different place next time. I liked the way the girl cut my hair 2 years ago, but she keeps trying to give me bangs nowadays and I am just not really thrilled with how my hair keeps turning out.

Baby = Dropped (although the doctor says she dropped OUT, not DOWN. Whatever. She's not living in my lungs anymore so that's a win in my book)

Charlotte's room = Decorated...

....more or less.
Wal-Mart is still out of C's. Poor little Harlotte.
I also can't make the curtains hang right but I am too lazy to wash or steam them to get the fold marks out.
I also would rather gouge out my eyes than ever put those wispy little stickers all over the wall again. I hope Charlotte likes dandelions because those are staying put for a GOOD long time.

Embarrassing supplies for after the birth that make me feel like I'm 80 = Purchased

Not pictured = Gigantic pads (I have a couple leftover from last time and hope to steal enough from the hospital to get by), sitz bath and hemorrhoid pillow. I didn't need the last two last time, and I hope I don't this time but if it turns out I do I wanted to leave SOMETHING for Will to buy. He's half responsible for this baby's arrival too.

Hospital bag = Packed

My New Years Eve = Will be spent in bed spooning my snoogle

Now if only the baby will stay in until Monday or Tuesday that would be just swell.

I wish you all a Happy New Year. Or as Emily says, a Happy No Ear.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Exhausted doesn't even begin to describe it....

Will went to bed at 6:45PM, I just have to last 1 more hour until Emily's bedtime. Thank the LORD (and Playskool and Gemmy) for the Busy Ball Popper. Between that and the trampoline Emily might be occupied and tired out with minimal effort from me by 8:30. I am SO sleeping through my massage tomorrow, and I'm ok with that.

Never EVER plan to be this pregnant at Christmas if you already have kids.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

An early Christmas present

While searching for recipes earlier this week, I came across this picture at My first thought was that it was a picture of two Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches mating. And to be honest, that was also my second and third thought. I had to enlarge it and read the recipe to realize it is actually a bacon-wrapped turkey with pear cider gravy.

I figured it was just me who was weird enough to think that food was actually bugs, but while I was peering at it sideways I heard a little voice behind me say "That is a buggy and the lady let me pet it gently and it went "pfffffffft"". Which is precisely the 2-year old version of the story I told at the beginning of the month about the bug-obsessed preschool. So either it really DOES look like a cockroach, or else my daughter is just as weird as me.

Either way, I feel vindicated. And proud.

So Merry Christmas everyone! And if you make bacon-wrapped turkey with pear cider gravy, send me a picture. I am disgusted but intrigued.

Christmas Countdown

Bleh. I am finally on the upswing of whatever disease has claimed my energy and productivity for the past 4 days. I tried blogging while I was sick on the couch, but everything I wrote was far too whiny and unintelligible. A far cry from my usual sophisticated prose. I've spent the past 5 days either watching 18" of snow fall, or doing a lot of groaning and mouth-breathing. The snow was cool because it's the most we've gotten in 15 years (we USED to get snow, but then El Nino or La Nina or whoever showed up and we haven't had more than a couple inches in any given year for a LONG time) and because I did not go into labor while we were snowed in! The mouth-breathing tends to keep Will awake at night, but sorry dude, anything less than 2 fully functional nostrils is just not enough and I need to switch over to my mouth. I'm breathing for two here.

But now, I find myself unceremoniously dumped practically on the feet of Christmas Eve, and instead of slowly transitioning from sick mode back into normal life I've had to hit the ground running to make sure everything is bought and wrapped and baked and prepared for Christmas. I think I'm almost there, but despite all my efforts to get prepared ahead of time, I am still rushing and stressed and looking forward to when Christmas is over and I can relax for a bit. I am in good company though, because all the parents in Frederick county unexpectedly found their houses full of kids this week, as they have canceled the last 3 days of school before Christmas break. I imagine losing the last 3 child-free days before Christmas would be pretty panic-inducing.

One of my errands today was to go to my now-weekly doctor appointment. As usual, I left pretty irritated. For brevity's sake, I'll explain why in a list.

-The nurse told me casually that I'd gained 4 pounds in a week. I knew for a FACT that I had not and said so. It took a bit of arguing, but she finally realized it was a typo and I had actually gained 1 pound, but I had actually ACTUALLY only gained 0.6 pounds, because last week my weight ended in 0.2 and this week it ended in 0.8 but they ROUND, the bastards.

-As I was getting my blood pressure checked, a nurse tried to send another lady's husband back to hang out with me. Once it was determined that this was NOT my husband and I did NOT want him in the exam room with me, the nurses told me the story of when they had accidentally sent a guy (named Marcus) back into an exam room with a lady (with a husband named Mark) who was on the table at the time. Apparently this was hilarious. If it were me, and some strange dude walked in while I was in the stirrups, I probably would have sued. It may be no big deal to an OB/GYN nurse who sees women's whole worlds all day every day, but for the rest of us (and as I am trying to teach my daughter right now) 'ginas are private.

-I was left to sit in the BAKING hot exam room for 35 minutes with no phone service, and only a breastfeeding pamphlet and a copy of Parenting magazine that I had already read for entertainment. By the time the doctor showed up for his 4 minutes of face time, I had completely shredded both the paper under me and the woefully inadequate paper "modesty sheet" I had been provided because HELLO, I'm 37 weeks pregnant and it's really uncomfortable for me to have to perch on an exam table for 35 minutes so I'd had to do a lot of wiggling and re-adjusting.

I could go on, but I'm sure you've all heard more than enough about my OB appointment by now. Oh, except for the result...I'm 1cm dilated, but not effacing yet. So it's no guarantee, but I will probably stay pregnant for a bit longer. But I'm 1/10th of the way there! Yay!

And now I have to go. Will has not done anything Christmassy yet this year, so we've waited until today to take Emily to the mall to visit Santa. Better late than never, I guess. Hopefully we'll still have time left today to do the millions of other things on my list.

2 days until my massage...

Thursday, December 10, 2009

My Eggo is Preggo

I haven't watched the Top Chef finale yet, so I am hiding in my house, avoiding Facebook and Twitter and certain blogs and the newspaper and random strangers walking by on the street so that no one can spoil the ending for me. Just because I can't stay awake late enough at night to watch it, and just because we don't have cable shouldn't mean I can't be surprised!

I just read over my last post, and all of that still applies, really (except there has been blessedly less cockroach-petting this week). If you are pressed for time, here is a quick summary for you:

I'm pregnant blah blah blah I hope the baby doesn't come too soon because there's still a lot to do blah blah blah preschool for Emily blah blah blah.

So yeah, still finishing Christmas shopping, still worried about Charlotte arriving earlier than planed, still looking for preschools, although I've made some progress on that front. I've found two that I really like, and she's already in at one of the two so all I have to do is send them $50 by February and it's all taken care of. Despite that fact, and despite the fact that ANY of the preschools I've looked at would be 100% fine (a point Emily relentlessly drives home every time I take her to visit a new one and she just walks right into the class, helps herself to some blocks or play dough and starts to play like she belongs there) I am still obsessed with finding the PERFECT preschool. I guess I've read too many blogs where moms have had big problems with their childs' preschools and I want to make sure the one I choose is the best possible fit for Emily.

But since I've settled into a weekly routine of preschool visits, doctor's appointments and Christmas-related errands, there's really not much that is interesting to report. If this pregnancy lasts exactly as long as my pregnancy with Emily did, I will be slightly skinnier (but much baggier) and sporting a cute new accessory in 3.5 weeks. I'm in the "I'm afraid to leave the house too much lest I get too tired or go into labor" period of my pregnancy, the time when you just kind of curl up in the nest like the huge egg you are and wait to hatch. I bought a dress for the wedding on January 2nd, and I even restrained myself from asking the saleslady at Motherhood which dress would be best for hiding a gush of amniotic fluid. I have even seriously considered wearing some depends, but then I start to think about how very convenient diapers would be at this point because they would save me about 100 trips to the bathroom per hour, but Will says he would flat-out divorce me if I ever wore diapers and purposely peed in them, and I think that's fair so I will probably avoid the temptation. I settled for this one, and I even got it in a medium, so now I feel all svelte. But in reality I look like this:

Except that usually I have arms.

And you all have my permission to rub my face in all these "oh please don't let me give birth too early" posts when January 24th rolls around and I'm still pregnant.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


Wow. It's December. That means I can officially say that I'm having a baby next month (at least I hope it won't be this month or 2 months from now) and that's scary. Because next month isn't far away, and there is A LOT to do in the meantime.

Probably the most important is to pick out a freakin' preschool for Emily already. I've been whining about it for almost a year now, but at least I'm visiting places and getting on lists now. Emily has visited a couple with me, and she seems to love the idea. The first place we visited, she walked into a classroom, said "Bye bye Mommy" and then went to play with some blocks. At least I won't be the parent who has to attend preschool for a month because their child goes ballistic if they try to leave. I'm just the parent who is so boring the kid can't wait to escape and go interact with other kids. Much better.

The place we visited today had a definite emphasis on "nature". And by "nature", I mean they are situated on 22 lovely wooded acres, they take the kids on nature walks, and they have hideous bugs in all the classrooms. They are all in cages and not scurrying around on the floor so they get points for that, but still. There was a HISSING COCKROACH in a cage in the hallway, and the woman had Emily touch it. If you've been reading for long, you'll recall that I although I am trying my hardest not to pass this on to Emily, I hate bugs, and I have an absolute phobia of cockroaches after one jumped on my foot first thing in the morning when I was in college. Cockroaches that HISS are even more phobia-worthy than regular city cockroaches. I actually seized up a bit and had to back away when she pulled the terrifying monster out of its cage, and while I watched Emily pet it (yes, it was so big you could PET it!!!!!!) and heard the disgusting beast hiss, it took every ounce of control I had not to grab my precious baby and just run blindly in any direction that was away from that abomination. Emily will NOT be attending the insect freak preschool.

While the search for a preschool goes on, I am also helping my youngest sister find an engagement ring (awwwwww!), peppering my lawyer friends with questions on behalf of my middle sister who is getting totally screwed over a speeding ticket, trying to get ready for Christmas earlier than I usually do (i.e. before 3AM Christmas morning) and doing work here and there in the nursery. Poor Charlotte is definitely the second child...we had Emily's room painted months in advance, I painstakingly matched bedding colors and furniture finishes, I made hand-painted letters for her wall and matching hand-painted switchplate and outlet covers and the room was ready to go with months to spare. Charlotte's room is the color it was when we moved in (the walls are green, green is girly enough, right?), she has mismatched, hand-me-down furniture and bedding, and her crib is still in pieces on the floor being used as a balance beam by Emily, mere weeks before she is due to arrive. Also all of her clothes (Emily's hand-me-downs) have weird yellow barf stains on them that weren't there when I packed them away. I'll have to do some research to figure out how to get those stains out because that is just TOO sad. Even a second child shouldn't have to wear clothes stained with other people's barf.

But at the end of all this getting ready, my mom and sisters informed me that they're taking me up to the Omni Bedford Springs for 1 night to relax and have spa treatments :-) I am thrilled, but I was a little worried about going ANYWHERE less than 3 weeks before my due date. I realized though that it wasn't really a BAD time to go into labor, because I'll have all my coaches with me already, I'll be nice and relaxed, and it's only an hour away so we can just call Will, tell him to get ready and get someone over to watch Emily and then pick him up on the way to the hospital. And if my water breaks on the massage table? I'll make my massage therapist finish, THEN leave to go home :-) Either that or make her come with me. If you can't call in special favors when you're in labor, when can you?

So I'm aiming to have everything done by December 31st, because that's when wedding activities for our friends' wedding start. It would be a bad time for Charlotte to come (except that we'd still have good insurance) so I need to make sure we're 100% ready because that will ensure that she WON'T come. And if I get past January 2nd (please please please) then I can just lay around and gestate and rest up so that I AM ready when she makes her debut. At least as ready as is possible.