Friday, April 30, 2010

Sanity

Strangely enough, it's conversations like this that keep me sane.

Brachiosaurus: Hi, I'm Brach-a-lee-saur-us. I want to talk to Mommy Hand.

Mommy Hand: Hi Brachiosaurus. I'm Mommy Hand. How are you today?

Brachiosaurus: I'm doing well. I like to eat green leaf-is.

This is my husband, Mr. Pack-a-lee-sef-a-lo-saur-us.

Mommy Hand: Hi Mr. Pachycephalosaurus. So you guys are married?
Brachiosaurus: Yes.
Mommy Hand: Did you wear a wedding dress to your wedding?
Brachiosaurus: Yes, but dinosaurs are nakey except for my tail. And my four feetsies. Also, I have a crest on my head. Do you want to see my crest?

Mommy Hand: Yes, I would like to see your crest.
Brachiosaurus: See?

Mommy Hand: That's a very nice crest.
Brachiosaurus: Thanks. Now I am going to eat some green leaf-is.

Mommy Hand: What do the green leaf-is taste like?
Brachiosaurus: Mushrooms. Goodbye.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Things that I wish...

I wish that I had selected any dog other than Mingus back at that Petsmart 6.5 years ago.

I wish that working with him, hiring a professional trainer, and giving him Prozac had worked.

I wish that he hadn't bit Will twice this weekend.

I wish (or rather hope) that we can find a rescue or somewhere that will take him so we don't have to put him down, but it's not looking good so far.

I wish Charlotte hadn't awoken 3 times last night.

I wish I felt comfortable having Mingus inside with my kids.

I wish I had any room in my house that was big enough for me to close Mingus in for an extended period of time so I didn't have to keep him outside to humanely keep him separated from my girls.

I wish my neighbor had asked me to bring him inside instead of calling animal control to lodge a complaint that my dog was outside barking all day.

I wish the animal control officer had listened to me instead of cutting me off when I tried to explain that the back corner of our yard touches two other yards, with two dogs in each of those yards, and the barking is not ALL my dogs.

I wish that stay at home moms could go to a breakroom or something to cry for awhile without having to nurse someone or convince a very concerned someone else that they are NOT in fact crying.

I wish I wasn't such a girl and had come out and asked Will to skip the gym and come home instead of just hoping he'd realize I wanted him to.

I wish my baby would take a bottle or a pacifier or a chew toy or SOMETHING other than my boob so that I could get something, anything done.

I wish that Emily didn't always barf after spending more than an hour in the car.

I wish that we didn't have to drive 3 hours with her to Virginia Beach in 2 weeks.

I wish this month was over.