I visited the OB today (the good one!) and was given the very encouraging news that I am "a good 3cm dilated, 50% effaced" and she can feel the baby's head. Also cervix is "low", which doesn't mean much to me but it's better than 2 weeks ago when the doctor said "Where is your cervix" while he was digging around up in there. Um, I usually keep it right where you're looking, can you REALLY not find it? I am apparently measuring 37 weeks now vs. 39 weeks last week, so I guess Charlotte dropped further? When I mentioned to the good OB that the irritating OB told me last week that second time moms don't drop down, they drop out, she said "I really don't know what he meant by that". I'm glad to hear that someone with a medical degree is just as confused by the irritating OB as I am.
Most exciting is that the doctor said I would be very easy to induce. So if, for some reason, I'm still walking around pregnant in a week and a half, all she'll have to do is break my water. It's actually quite a load off my mind to think that pitocin will probably never have to enter my veins. AND, if I make it to my 40 week appointment next week, I get to see the good OB again. I guess the front desk lady only forces you to see a different doctor if you specifically ask for the good OB. I kind of want to strangle her.
I know women walk around 3 cm dilated for weeks sometimes, but last time my body didn't mess around so I'm hoping the same will be true this time. I have actually been having lots of contractions today as long as I'm up and walking around, but they die down when I sit so I'm thinking it's not labor yet. They definitely don't hurt like labor contractions did last time, but then again my water hasn't broken yet and I've heard contractions are much less painful before your water breaks.
So I'm sitting here, periodically thinking "Hmmm, that one felt pretty tight in my back, maybe I should start to call people", then deciding against it. My mom's contractions with my youngest sister didn't hurt until her water broke, and then she only had about an hour until Kathleen was actually born so I worry about that happening to me. I have a lot of people to collect before I can go to the hospital!
I'm also spoiled in that Charlotte has cooperated so well so far, I find I am now trying to make her arrival come at the PERFECT time. I keep thinking I should get up and walk, since that makes my contractions come, but it's getting towards the evening and if laying around vs. walking will make her come tomorrow after I've slept vs. tonight as I'm falling asleep, well that would be good right? She's not even due yet, so another couple hours in the womb will just make her less likely to have jaundice and more likely to have nice strong lungs, right? And she's not going to weigh much more tomorrow morning than she does tonight, so it wouldn't be much tougher for me. Then again, if I manage to get labor started right now, I could have her by bedtime tonight and then I wouldn't have to worry about visitors busting into my delivery room because no one is allowed in until tomorrow morning anyway.
Or I could still be 2 weeks away from having this baby. Either way, 3cm is 30% of the way to pushing, yay!
So I will continue to hang around in limbo, making sure that my phone is nearby and vacillating back and forth between thinking I should rest and thinking I should get up and move.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
We made it
Here we are, January 4th, and Charlotte is still in my tummy. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. This issue I've worried about pretty much since I got pregnant is now officially not an issue anymore. My lesser worry, a big snowstorm, does not appear to be too much of a possibility in the next 10 days either. BIG sigh of relief.
Brad and Kim's wedding was lots of fun, I can't believe they're actually married now! Mostly I can't believe Brad is married now. It's always weird when someone you grew up with gets married I suppose. But everything went well, I managed to do some slow dancing, sobbed through most of the ceremony, first dance, daddy/daughter dance etc. and even managed to FREAK Will out when he saw a random puddle of water on the floor in the place I had agreed to meet him before heading to the reception. I found him running down the hall with a panicked look on his face yelling "Are you OK?" It's nice to know he cares.
So now, I am kind of at loose ends. I really appreciate the extra time Charlotte is giving me to get ready, but I honestly expected to have a baby by now so I am kind of just hanging out at the house, napping a lot, slowly putting up curtain rods and VERY slowly getting the Christmas stuff put away. It is a really strange mix of super-relaxing and super-tense. I am constantly paying attention for a gush of water, or a contraction that hurts in THAT way. I am making a pork shoulder for dinner tonight, and when I started it cooking this morning it was strange to think I might not be here to take it out of the oven 8 hours later.
It's also weird because if I were going away on a trip for 2 days and leaving Emily here with grandparents I would make sure all her clothes were clean and put away in the right place, her bed made "lasagna style" with several layers of clean sheets and waterproof pads in case of an accident, plenty of food she likes easily accessible, the house clean etc. The problem is, I don't know WHEN I'm leaving this time, so I am trying my best to keep everything perfectly ready at all times but it's tough because I'll let you in on a little secret...I don't usually live that way. More often than not, I pull her clothes out of a (clean) laundry basket to get her dressed vs. her closet. If some clothes or sheets are dirty, I usually don't wash them right away because we have more. If she has eaten all of her favorite snacks or dinners I don't worry because I know what she likes and I can just go shopping and make some more food. I try to keep the house clean, but it certainly doesn't stay clean and I always work best on a deadline which I don't have this time. Well I DO have a BIG deadline, but I don't get to know when it is.
I did actually think I was in labor last night for awhile...my back hurt so badly that it woke me up out of a dead sleep at 1:15AM. I decided I was having back labor (I just KNOW I'm going to have back labor, as much as she has ground on my back during this pregnancy) so I stumbled out of bed and went to the bathroom (which is always the first order of business upon waking). In my sleep-dazed state, I was thinking to myself "If this is very early back labor, I need to go to the hospital and get an epidural NOW!" because boy did it hurt. I tried talking to Charlotte and telling her that I didn't mind her coming now, but there was a much easier way to do it for both of us. If she could just turn her face towards my back we'd all be happier.
Once I laid back down in bed (on my left side this time) I felt a little better and soon I was back to sleep so it obviously wasn't labor. I suspect it was a bit of digestive upset, possibly caused by my over-indulging in frozen buckeye filling I discovered in the freezer before bedtime :-(
Emily seems to realize something is afoot, because she has been spending a lot of time in "No, Mommy, no!" mode. This morning she wanted noodles, she didn't care that we didn't have any noodles, then she wanted yogurt, no not this yogurt, YES WE DO HAVE OTHER YOGURT, she wanted to see the doggie visiting Tank next door, she wanted Tank and his friend to come BACK outside, SHE wanted to go outside, she wanted to watch a pony show (???), she wanted to be picked up but she was not willing to use her words to ask and say please etc., all liberally sprinkled with crying and whining. Luckily there are also times during the day where she'll sing songs about how much she loves me and be a total sweetheart, so I guess she's basically just being a 2 year old. Just a more whiney one than she usually is.
So, as much as it surprises me, it's looking like I might actually make it to my 39 week Dr appointment this week. We'll see what's up then, and we'll see if they start trying to schedule me for an induction again like they did last time. But no matter how well I feel, and no matter how few signs of impending labor I am having, this baby WILL be here in the next 3.5 weeks, and most likely earlier! I'll hold out hope that Charlotte continues to be agreeable and won't decide to come while I'm at the grocery store or just laying down to sleep for the night. But I've been so lucky already I will definitely take whatever happens and be happy!
Brad and Kim's wedding was lots of fun, I can't believe they're actually married now! Mostly I can't believe Brad is married now. It's always weird when someone you grew up with gets married I suppose. But everything went well, I managed to do some slow dancing, sobbed through most of the ceremony, first dance, daddy/daughter dance etc. and even managed to FREAK Will out when he saw a random puddle of water on the floor in the place I had agreed to meet him before heading to the reception. I found him running down the hall with a panicked look on his face yelling "Are you OK?" It's nice to know he cares.
So now, I am kind of at loose ends. I really appreciate the extra time Charlotte is giving me to get ready, but I honestly expected to have a baby by now so I am kind of just hanging out at the house, napping a lot, slowly putting up curtain rods and VERY slowly getting the Christmas stuff put away. It is a really strange mix of super-relaxing and super-tense. I am constantly paying attention for a gush of water, or a contraction that hurts in THAT way. I am making a pork shoulder for dinner tonight, and when I started it cooking this morning it was strange to think I might not be here to take it out of the oven 8 hours later.
It's also weird because if I were going away on a trip for 2 days and leaving Emily here with grandparents I would make sure all her clothes were clean and put away in the right place, her bed made "lasagna style" with several layers of clean sheets and waterproof pads in case of an accident, plenty of food she likes easily accessible, the house clean etc. The problem is, I don't know WHEN I'm leaving this time, so I am trying my best to keep everything perfectly ready at all times but it's tough because I'll let you in on a little secret...I don't usually live that way. More often than not, I pull her clothes out of a (clean) laundry basket to get her dressed vs. her closet. If some clothes or sheets are dirty, I usually don't wash them right away because we have more. If she has eaten all of her favorite snacks or dinners I don't worry because I know what she likes and I can just go shopping and make some more food. I try to keep the house clean, but it certainly doesn't stay clean and I always work best on a deadline which I don't have this time. Well I DO have a BIG deadline, but I don't get to know when it is.
I did actually think I was in labor last night for awhile...my back hurt so badly that it woke me up out of a dead sleep at 1:15AM. I decided I was having back labor (I just KNOW I'm going to have back labor, as much as she has ground on my back during this pregnancy) so I stumbled out of bed and went to the bathroom (which is always the first order of business upon waking). In my sleep-dazed state, I was thinking to myself "If this is very early back labor, I need to go to the hospital and get an epidural NOW!" because boy did it hurt. I tried talking to Charlotte and telling her that I didn't mind her coming now, but there was a much easier way to do it for both of us. If she could just turn her face towards my back we'd all be happier.
Once I laid back down in bed (on my left side this time) I felt a little better and soon I was back to sleep so it obviously wasn't labor. I suspect it was a bit of digestive upset, possibly caused by my over-indulging in frozen buckeye filling I discovered in the freezer before bedtime :-(
Emily seems to realize something is afoot, because she has been spending a lot of time in "No, Mommy, no!" mode. This morning she wanted noodles, she didn't care that we didn't have any noodles, then she wanted yogurt, no not this yogurt, YES WE DO HAVE OTHER YOGURT, she wanted to see the doggie visiting Tank next door, she wanted Tank and his friend to come BACK outside, SHE wanted to go outside, she wanted to watch a pony show (???), she wanted to be picked up but she was not willing to use her words to ask and say please etc., all liberally sprinkled with crying and whining. Luckily there are also times during the day where she'll sing songs about how much she loves me and be a total sweetheart, so I guess she's basically just being a 2 year old. Just a more whiney one than she usually is.
So, as much as it surprises me, it's looking like I might actually make it to my 39 week Dr appointment this week. We'll see what's up then, and we'll see if they start trying to schedule me for an induction again like they did last time. But no matter how well I feel, and no matter how few signs of impending labor I am having, this baby WILL be here in the next 3.5 weeks, and most likely earlier! I'll hold out hope that Charlotte continues to be agreeable and won't decide to come while I'm at the grocery store or just laying down to sleep for the night. But I've been so lucky already I will definitely take whatever happens and be happy!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Happy No Ear
I've read many blogs today that discuss how bad the year 2009 was and how much better everyone hopes 2010 will be. I'm inclined to agree. In 2009 the economy sucked, Will was sick most of the time, and I feel kind of like I slugged my way through the year. We definitely had many good things happen too and I'm not discounting that, but I will be glad to leave behind the year of being pregnant with a sick husband while trying to mother a toddler.
When I think about resolutions, I can think of lots for NEXT year, but in 2010 I know my body and my time will be almost completely claimed by a baby and a toddler so I am giving myself a free pass for this year. Instead I am feeling pretty good about what I have accomplished in the last week.
Christmas = Survived
Just barely
Train table = Pimped
Relaxation Trip = Accomplished without incident. Relaxation achieved.
My hair = Cut
I figure I will not have time to get to the salon anytime in the next couple months. I also figure I am going to a different place next time. I liked the way the girl cut my hair 2 years ago, but she keeps trying to give me bangs nowadays and I am just not really thrilled with how my hair keeps turning out.
Baby = Dropped (although the doctor says she dropped OUT, not DOWN. Whatever. She's not living in my lungs anymore so that's a win in my book)
Charlotte's room = Decorated...
....more or less.
Wal-Mart is still out of C's. Poor little Harlotte.
I also can't make the curtains hang right but I am too lazy to wash or steam them to get the fold marks out.
I also would rather gouge out my eyes than ever put those wispy little stickers all over the wall again. I hope Charlotte likes dandelions because those are staying put for a GOOD long time.
Embarrassing supplies for after the birth that make me feel like I'm 80 = Purchased
Not pictured = Gigantic pads (I have a couple leftover from last time and hope to steal enough from the hospital to get by), sitz bath and hemorrhoid pillow. I didn't need the last two last time, and I hope I don't this time but if it turns out I do I wanted to leave SOMETHING for Will to buy. He's half responsible for this baby's arrival too.
Hospital bag = Packed
My New Years Eve = Will be spent in bed spooning my snoogle
Now if only the baby will stay in until Monday or Tuesday that would be just swell.
I wish you all a Happy New Year. Or as Emily says, a Happy No Ear.
When I think about resolutions, I can think of lots for NEXT year, but in 2010 I know my body and my time will be almost completely claimed by a baby and a toddler so I am giving myself a free pass for this year. Instead I am feeling pretty good about what I have accomplished in the last week.
Christmas = Survived
Just barely
Train table = Pimped
Relaxation Trip = Accomplished without incident. Relaxation achieved.
My hair = Cut
I figure I will not have time to get to the salon anytime in the next couple months. I also figure I am going to a different place next time. I liked the way the girl cut my hair 2 years ago, but she keeps trying to give me bangs nowadays and I am just not really thrilled with how my hair keeps turning out.
Baby = Dropped (although the doctor says she dropped OUT, not DOWN. Whatever. She's not living in my lungs anymore so that's a win in my book)
Charlotte's room = Decorated...
....more or less.
Wal-Mart is still out of C's. Poor little Harlotte.
I also can't make the curtains hang right but I am too lazy to wash or steam them to get the fold marks out.
I also would rather gouge out my eyes than ever put those wispy little stickers all over the wall again. I hope Charlotte likes dandelions because those are staying put for a GOOD long time.
Embarrassing supplies for after the birth that make me feel like I'm 80 = Purchased
Not pictured = Gigantic pads (I have a couple leftover from last time and hope to steal enough from the hospital to get by), sitz bath and hemorrhoid pillow. I didn't need the last two last time, and I hope I don't this time but if it turns out I do I wanted to leave SOMETHING for Will to buy. He's half responsible for this baby's arrival too.
Hospital bag = Packed
My New Years Eve = Will be spent in bed spooning my snoogle
Now if only the baby will stay in until Monday or Tuesday that would be just swell.
I wish you all a Happy New Year. Or as Emily says, a Happy No Ear.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Exhausted doesn't even begin to describe it....
Will went to bed at 6:45PM, I just have to last 1 more hour until Emily's bedtime. Thank the LORD (and Playskool and Gemmy) for the Busy Ball Popper. Between that and the trampoline Emily might be occupied and tired out with minimal effort from me by 8:30. I am SO sleeping through my massage tomorrow, and I'm ok with that.
Never EVER plan to be this pregnant at Christmas if you already have kids.
Never EVER plan to be this pregnant at Christmas if you already have kids.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
An early Christmas present
While searching for recipes earlier this week, I came across this picture at chow.com. My first thought was that it was a picture of two Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches mating. And to be honest, that was also my second and third thought. I had to enlarge it and read the recipe to realize it is actually a bacon-wrapped turkey with pear cider gravy.
I figured it was just me who was weird enough to think that food was actually bugs, but while I was peering at it sideways I heard a little voice behind me say "That is a buggy and the lady let me pet it gently and it went "pfffffffft"". Which is precisely the 2-year old version of the story I told at the beginning of the month about the bug-obsessed preschool. So either it really DOES look like a cockroach, or else my daughter is just as weird as me.
Either way, I feel vindicated. And proud.
So Merry Christmas everyone! And if you make bacon-wrapped turkey with pear cider gravy, send me a picture. I am disgusted but intrigued.
Christmas Countdown
Bleh. I am finally on the upswing of whatever disease has claimed my energy and productivity for the past 4 days. I tried blogging while I was sick on the couch, but everything I wrote was far too whiny and unintelligible. A far cry from my usual sophisticated prose. I've spent the past 5 days either watching 18" of snow fall, or doing a lot of groaning and mouth-breathing. The snow was cool because it's the most we've gotten in 15 years (we USED to get snow, but then El Nino or La Nina or whoever showed up and we haven't had more than a couple inches in any given year for a LONG time) and because I did not go into labor while we were snowed in! The mouth-breathing tends to keep Will awake at night, but sorry dude, anything less than 2 fully functional nostrils is just not enough and I need to switch over to my mouth. I'm breathing for two here.
But now, I find myself unceremoniously dumped practically on the feet of Christmas Eve, and instead of slowly transitioning from sick mode back into normal life I've had to hit the ground running to make sure everything is bought and wrapped and baked and prepared for Christmas. I think I'm almost there, but despite all my efforts to get prepared ahead of time, I am still rushing and stressed and looking forward to when Christmas is over and I can relax for a bit. I am in good company though, because all the parents in Frederick county unexpectedly found their houses full of kids this week, as they have canceled the last 3 days of school before Christmas break. I imagine losing the last 3 child-free days before Christmas would be pretty panic-inducing.
One of my errands today was to go to my now-weekly doctor appointment. As usual, I left pretty irritated. For brevity's sake, I'll explain why in a list.
-The nurse told me casually that I'd gained 4 pounds in a week. I knew for a FACT that I had not and said so. It took a bit of arguing, but she finally realized it was a typo and I had actually gained 1 pound, but I had actually ACTUALLY only gained 0.6 pounds, because last week my weight ended in 0.2 and this week it ended in 0.8 but they ROUND, the bastards.
-As I was getting my blood pressure checked, a nurse tried to send another lady's husband back to hang out with me. Once it was determined that this was NOT my husband and I did NOT want him in the exam room with me, the nurses told me the story of when they had accidentally sent a guy (named Marcus) back into an exam room with a lady (with a husband named Mark) who was on the table at the time. Apparently this was hilarious. If it were me, and some strange dude walked in while I was in the stirrups, I probably would have sued. It may be no big deal to an OB/GYN nurse who sees women's whole worlds all day every day, but for the rest of us (and as I am trying to teach my daughter right now) 'ginas are private.
-I was left to sit in the BAKING hot exam room for 35 minutes with no phone service, and only a breastfeeding pamphlet and a copy of Parenting magazine that I had already read for entertainment. By the time the doctor showed up for his 4 minutes of face time, I had completely shredded both the paper under me and the woefully inadequate paper "modesty sheet" I had been provided because HELLO, I'm 37 weeks pregnant and it's really uncomfortable for me to have to perch on an exam table for 35 minutes so I'd had to do a lot of wiggling and re-adjusting.
I could go on, but I'm sure you've all heard more than enough about my OB appointment by now. Oh, except for the result...I'm 1cm dilated, but not effacing yet. So it's no guarantee, but I will probably stay pregnant for a bit longer. But I'm 1/10th of the way there! Yay!
And now I have to go. Will has not done anything Christmassy yet this year, so we've waited until today to take Emily to the mall to visit Santa. Better late than never, I guess. Hopefully we'll still have time left today to do the millions of other things on my list.
2 days until my massage...
But now, I find myself unceremoniously dumped practically on the feet of Christmas Eve, and instead of slowly transitioning from sick mode back into normal life I've had to hit the ground running to make sure everything is bought and wrapped and baked and prepared for Christmas. I think I'm almost there, but despite all my efforts to get prepared ahead of time, I am still rushing and stressed and looking forward to when Christmas is over and I can relax for a bit. I am in good company though, because all the parents in Frederick county unexpectedly found their houses full of kids this week, as they have canceled the last 3 days of school before Christmas break. I imagine losing the last 3 child-free days before Christmas would be pretty panic-inducing.
One of my errands today was to go to my now-weekly doctor appointment. As usual, I left pretty irritated. For brevity's sake, I'll explain why in a list.
-The nurse told me casually that I'd gained 4 pounds in a week. I knew for a FACT that I had not and said so. It took a bit of arguing, but she finally realized it was a typo and I had actually gained 1 pound, but I had actually ACTUALLY only gained 0.6 pounds, because last week my weight ended in 0.2 and this week it ended in 0.8 but they ROUND, the bastards.
-As I was getting my blood pressure checked, a nurse tried to send another lady's husband back to hang out with me. Once it was determined that this was NOT my husband and I did NOT want him in the exam room with me, the nurses told me the story of when they had accidentally sent a guy (named Marcus) back into an exam room with a lady (with a husband named Mark) who was on the table at the time. Apparently this was hilarious. If it were me, and some strange dude walked in while I was in the stirrups, I probably would have sued. It may be no big deal to an OB/GYN nurse who sees women's whole worlds all day every day, but for the rest of us (and as I am trying to teach my daughter right now) 'ginas are private.
-I was left to sit in the BAKING hot exam room for 35 minutes with no phone service, and only a breastfeeding pamphlet and a copy of Parenting magazine that I had already read for entertainment. By the time the doctor showed up for his 4 minutes of face time, I had completely shredded both the paper under me and the woefully inadequate paper "modesty sheet" I had been provided because HELLO, I'm 37 weeks pregnant and it's really uncomfortable for me to have to perch on an exam table for 35 minutes so I'd had to do a lot of wiggling and re-adjusting.
I could go on, but I'm sure you've all heard more than enough about my OB appointment by now. Oh, except for the result...I'm 1cm dilated, but not effacing yet. So it's no guarantee, but I will probably stay pregnant for a bit longer. But I'm 1/10th of the way there! Yay!
And now I have to go. Will has not done anything Christmassy yet this year, so we've waited until today to take Emily to the mall to visit Santa. Better late than never, I guess. Hopefully we'll still have time left today to do the millions of other things on my list.
2 days until my massage...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
My Eggo is Preggo
I haven't watched the Top Chef finale yet, so I am hiding in my house, avoiding Facebook and Twitter and certain blogs and the newspaper and random strangers walking by on the street so that no one can spoil the ending for me. Just because I can't stay awake late enough at night to watch it, and just because we don't have cable shouldn't mean I can't be surprised!
I just read over my last post, and all of that still applies, really (except there has been blessedly less cockroach-petting this week). If you are pressed for time, here is a quick summary for you:
I'm pregnant blah blah blah I hope the baby doesn't come too soon because there's still a lot to do blah blah blah preschool for Emily blah blah blah.
So yeah, still finishing Christmas shopping, still worried about Charlotte arriving earlier than planed, still looking for preschools, although I've made some progress on that front. I've found two that I really like, and she's already in at one of the two so all I have to do is send them $50 by February and it's all taken care of. Despite that fact, and despite the fact that ANY of the preschools I've looked at would be 100% fine (a point Emily relentlessly drives home every time I take her to visit a new one and she just walks right into the class, helps herself to some blocks or play dough and starts to play like she belongs there) I am still obsessed with finding the PERFECT preschool. I guess I've read too many blogs where moms have had big problems with their childs' preschools and I want to make sure the one I choose is the best possible fit for Emily.
But since I've settled into a weekly routine of preschool visits, doctor's appointments and Christmas-related errands, there's really not much that is interesting to report. If this pregnancy lasts exactly as long as my pregnancy with Emily did, I will be slightly skinnier (but much baggier) and sporting a cute new accessory in 3.5 weeks. I'm in the "I'm afraid to leave the house too much lest I get too tired or go into labor" period of my pregnancy, the time when you just kind of curl up in the nest like the huge egg you are and wait to hatch. I bought a dress for the wedding on January 2nd, and I even restrained myself from asking the saleslady at Motherhood which dress would be best for hiding a gush of amniotic fluid. I have even seriously considered wearing some depends, but then I start to think about how very convenient diapers would be at this point because they would save me about 100 trips to the bathroom per hour, but Will says he would flat-out divorce me if I ever wore diapers and purposely peed in them, and I think that's fair so I will probably avoid the temptation. I settled for this one, and I even got it in a medium, so now I feel all svelte. But in reality I look like this:
Except that usually I have arms.
And you all have my permission to rub my face in all these "oh please don't let me give birth too early" posts when January 24th rolls around and I'm still pregnant.
I just read over my last post, and all of that still applies, really (except there has been blessedly less cockroach-petting this week). If you are pressed for time, here is a quick summary for you:
I'm pregnant blah blah blah I hope the baby doesn't come too soon because there's still a lot to do blah blah blah preschool for Emily blah blah blah.
So yeah, still finishing Christmas shopping, still worried about Charlotte arriving earlier than planed, still looking for preschools, although I've made some progress on that front. I've found two that I really like, and she's already in at one of the two so all I have to do is send them $50 by February and it's all taken care of. Despite that fact, and despite the fact that ANY of the preschools I've looked at would be 100% fine (a point Emily relentlessly drives home every time I take her to visit a new one and she just walks right into the class, helps herself to some blocks or play dough and starts to play like she belongs there) I am still obsessed with finding the PERFECT preschool. I guess I've read too many blogs where moms have had big problems with their childs' preschools and I want to make sure the one I choose is the best possible fit for Emily.
But since I've settled into a weekly routine of preschool visits, doctor's appointments and Christmas-related errands, there's really not much that is interesting to report. If this pregnancy lasts exactly as long as my pregnancy with Emily did, I will be slightly skinnier (but much baggier) and sporting a cute new accessory in 3.5 weeks. I'm in the "I'm afraid to leave the house too much lest I get too tired or go into labor" period of my pregnancy, the time when you just kind of curl up in the nest like the huge egg you are and wait to hatch. I bought a dress for the wedding on January 2nd, and I even restrained myself from asking the saleslady at Motherhood which dress would be best for hiding a gush of amniotic fluid. I have even seriously considered wearing some depends, but then I start to think about how very convenient diapers would be at this point because they would save me about 100 trips to the bathroom per hour, but Will says he would flat-out divorce me if I ever wore diapers and purposely peed in them, and I think that's fair so I will probably avoid the temptation. I settled for this one, and I even got it in a medium, so now I feel all svelte. But in reality I look like this:
Except that usually I have arms.
And you all have my permission to rub my face in all these "oh please don't let me give birth too early" posts when January 24th rolls around and I'm still pregnant.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Expecting
Wow. It's December. That means I can officially say that I'm having a baby next month (at least I hope it won't be this month or 2 months from now) and that's scary. Because next month isn't far away, and there is A LOT to do in the meantime.
Probably the most important is to pick out a freakin' preschool for Emily already. I've been whining about it for almost a year now, but at least I'm visiting places and getting on lists now. Emily has visited a couple with me, and she seems to love the idea. The first place we visited, she walked into a classroom, said "Bye bye Mommy" and then went to play with some blocks. At least I won't be the parent who has to attend preschool for a month because their child goes ballistic if they try to leave. I'm just the parent who is so boring the kid can't wait to escape and go interact with other kids. Much better.
The place we visited today had a definite emphasis on "nature". And by "nature", I mean they are situated on 22 lovely wooded acres, they take the kids on nature walks, and they have hideous bugs in all the classrooms. They are all in cages and not scurrying around on the floor so they get points for that, but still. There was a HISSING COCKROACH in a cage in the hallway, and the woman had Emily touch it. If you've been reading for long, you'll recall that I although I am trying my hardest not to pass this on to Emily, I hate bugs, and I have an absolute phobia of cockroaches after one jumped on my foot first thing in the morning when I was in college. Cockroaches that HISS are even more phobia-worthy than regular city cockroaches. I actually seized up a bit and had to back away when she pulled the terrifying monster out of its cage, and while I watched Emily pet it (yes, it was so big you could PET it!!!!!!) and heard the disgusting beast hiss, it took every ounce of control I had not to grab my precious baby and just run blindly in any direction that was away from that abomination. Emily will NOT be attending the insect freak preschool.
While the search for a preschool goes on, I am also helping my youngest sister find an engagement ring (awwwwww!), peppering my lawyer friends with questions on behalf of my middle sister who is getting totally screwed over a speeding ticket, trying to get ready for Christmas earlier than I usually do (i.e. before 3AM Christmas morning) and doing work here and there in the nursery. Poor Charlotte is definitely the second child...we had Emily's room painted months in advance, I painstakingly matched bedding colors and furniture finishes, I made hand-painted letters for her wall and matching hand-painted switchplate and outlet covers and the room was ready to go with months to spare. Charlotte's room is the color it was when we moved in (the walls are green, green is girly enough, right?), she has mismatched, hand-me-down furniture and bedding, and her crib is still in pieces on the floor being used as a balance beam by Emily, mere weeks before she is due to arrive. Also all of her clothes (Emily's hand-me-downs) have weird yellow barf stains on them that weren't there when I packed them away. I'll have to do some research to figure out how to get those stains out because that is just TOO sad. Even a second child shouldn't have to wear clothes stained with other people's barf.
But at the end of all this getting ready, my mom and sisters informed me that they're taking me up to the Omni Bedford Springs for 1 night to relax and have spa treatments :-) I am thrilled, but I was a little worried about going ANYWHERE less than 3 weeks before my due date. I realized though that it wasn't really a BAD time to go into labor, because I'll have all my coaches with me already, I'll be nice and relaxed, and it's only an hour away so we can just call Will, tell him to get ready and get someone over to watch Emily and then pick him up on the way to the hospital. And if my water breaks on the massage table? I'll make my massage therapist finish, THEN leave to go home :-) Either that or make her come with me. If you can't call in special favors when you're in labor, when can you?
So I'm aiming to have everything done by December 31st, because that's when wedding activities for our friends' wedding start. It would be a bad time for Charlotte to come (except that we'd still have good insurance) so I need to make sure we're 100% ready because that will ensure that she WON'T come. And if I get past January 2nd (please please please) then I can just lay around and gestate and rest up so that I AM ready when she makes her debut. At least as ready as is possible.
Probably the most important is to pick out a freakin' preschool for Emily already. I've been whining about it for almost a year now, but at least I'm visiting places and getting on lists now. Emily has visited a couple with me, and she seems to love the idea. The first place we visited, she walked into a classroom, said "Bye bye Mommy" and then went to play with some blocks. At least I won't be the parent who has to attend preschool for a month because their child goes ballistic if they try to leave. I'm just the parent who is so boring the kid can't wait to escape and go interact with other kids. Much better.
The place we visited today had a definite emphasis on "nature". And by "nature", I mean they are situated on 22 lovely wooded acres, they take the kids on nature walks, and they have hideous bugs in all the classrooms. They are all in cages and not scurrying around on the floor so they get points for that, but still. There was a HISSING COCKROACH in a cage in the hallway, and the woman had Emily touch it. If you've been reading for long, you'll recall that I although I am trying my hardest not to pass this on to Emily, I hate bugs, and I have an absolute phobia of cockroaches after one jumped on my foot first thing in the morning when I was in college. Cockroaches that HISS are even more phobia-worthy than regular city cockroaches. I actually seized up a bit and had to back away when she pulled the terrifying monster out of its cage, and while I watched Emily pet it (yes, it was so big you could PET it!!!!!!) and heard the disgusting beast hiss, it took every ounce of control I had not to grab my precious baby and just run blindly in any direction that was away from that abomination. Emily will NOT be attending the insect freak preschool.
While the search for a preschool goes on, I am also helping my youngest sister find an engagement ring (awwwwww!), peppering my lawyer friends with questions on behalf of my middle sister who is getting totally screwed over a speeding ticket, trying to get ready for Christmas earlier than I usually do (i.e. before 3AM Christmas morning) and doing work here and there in the nursery. Poor Charlotte is definitely the second child...we had Emily's room painted months in advance, I painstakingly matched bedding colors and furniture finishes, I made hand-painted letters for her wall and matching hand-painted switchplate and outlet covers and the room was ready to go with months to spare. Charlotte's room is the color it was when we moved in (the walls are green, green is girly enough, right?), she has mismatched, hand-me-down furniture and bedding, and her crib is still in pieces on the floor being used as a balance beam by Emily, mere weeks before she is due to arrive. Also all of her clothes (Emily's hand-me-downs) have weird yellow barf stains on them that weren't there when I packed them away. I'll have to do some research to figure out how to get those stains out because that is just TOO sad. Even a second child shouldn't have to wear clothes stained with other people's barf.
But at the end of all this getting ready, my mom and sisters informed me that they're taking me up to the Omni Bedford Springs for 1 night to relax and have spa treatments :-) I am thrilled, but I was a little worried about going ANYWHERE less than 3 weeks before my due date. I realized though that it wasn't really a BAD time to go into labor, because I'll have all my coaches with me already, I'll be nice and relaxed, and it's only an hour away so we can just call Will, tell him to get ready and get someone over to watch Emily and then pick him up on the way to the hospital. And if my water breaks on the massage table? I'll make my massage therapist finish, THEN leave to go home :-) Either that or make her come with me. If you can't call in special favors when you're in labor, when can you?
So I'm aiming to have everything done by December 31st, because that's when wedding activities for our friends' wedding start. It would be a bad time for Charlotte to come (except that we'd still have good insurance) so I need to make sure we're 100% ready because that will ensure that she WON'T come. And if I get past January 2nd (please please please) then I can just lay around and gestate and rest up so that I AM ready when she makes her debut. At least as ready as is possible.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Happy Holiday-ing
Well I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. And a great November for that matter since I've only posted once since the beginning of the month. We enjoyed our Thanksgiving...we spent it up at Will's family farm/retreat/whatever it is which is perfect for Thanksgiving as far as I'm concerned. It looks rustic but is actually very modern on the inside, it's made of stone, it's secluded in the woods, and it's only a 40 minute drive away. Far enough to feel like we're going somewhere for Thanksgiving, but close enough that traffic doesn't bother me much because it's such a short drive. We spent 2 nights up there, and combining my family and Will's family worked out nicely. I did all my prep ahead of time too, so all I had to do the day of was saute canadian bacon pieces and sprinkle some blue cheese on the brussel sprouts. Everything went quite well except for the fact that we took the dogs with us and they peed all over the place at night. My just barely potty trained 2.5 year old does better than my idiot dogs who have been housebroken for over 6 years. Just another way the dogs make life easy and enjoyable.
Then, wasting no time, we moved right on to Christmas. Emily is now old enough to not only understand but anticipate holidays, so it's lots of fun to do Christmas-y things. She went with my parents (Gemmy and Dibby) to pick out a Christmas tree yesterday morning, so we couldn't get away with being Christmas tree-less around here for very long after that. We've opted to use the fake tree again this year since Will is allergic to the world and his allergist says that getting a real tree is one of the worst things you can do if you have allergies. He's working on his allergy shots, and by next year he should be impermeable to all allergens. The problem is, it is SO easy to bring the tree up from downstairs, unfold it and plug it in. It feels lazy and wrong, but it's so nice to get everything set up in an hour or so. Perhaps Emily will just have to enjoy picking out a real tree with Gemmy and Dibby every year and then just get by with our laser-beam Christmas tree at home (I'd forgotten how very PIERCING the LED lights on the tree are. Decorating it is kind of like staring directly into the sun).
So today Will is hunting (I know...this is a new thing, but I would be thrilled to get a whole deer's worth of fresh meat!) and I have plopped Emily down in front of some Christmas specials so that I can clean up my house. I hate plugging her into the TV, but having her watch the same specials I loved growing up is not bad for her brain, it's wholesome and traditional, right?
Then, wasting no time, we moved right on to Christmas. Emily is now old enough to not only understand but anticipate holidays, so it's lots of fun to do Christmas-y things. She went with my parents (Gemmy and Dibby) to pick out a Christmas tree yesterday morning, so we couldn't get away with being Christmas tree-less around here for very long after that. We've opted to use the fake tree again this year since Will is allergic to the world and his allergist says that getting a real tree is one of the worst things you can do if you have allergies. He's working on his allergy shots, and by next year he should be impermeable to all allergens. The problem is, it is SO easy to bring the tree up from downstairs, unfold it and plug it in. It feels lazy and wrong, but it's so nice to get everything set up in an hour or so. Perhaps Emily will just have to enjoy picking out a real tree with Gemmy and Dibby every year and then just get by with our laser-beam Christmas tree at home (I'd forgotten how very PIERCING the LED lights on the tree are. Decorating it is kind of like staring directly into the sun).
So today Will is hunting (I know...this is a new thing, but I would be thrilled to get a whole deer's worth of fresh meat!) and I have plopped Emily down in front of some Christmas specials so that I can clean up my house. I hate plugging her into the TV, but having her watch the same specials I loved growing up is not bad for her brain, it's wholesome and traditional, right?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Coming back to life
Wow. I can't believe November is half gone. The last thing I remember was Halloween. And this was supposed to be my lull before the holiday season in which to get ready for the baby that will be here in LESS THAN 2 MONTHS. Yeah, that hasn't happened yet.
Halloween was incredibly busy, like I fell asleep at my friends' Halloween party on the couch watching Bolt with the toddlers before 10PM busy (I am a party ANIMAL). But we managed to take Emily trick or treating as an eff-a-lant, and that was my goal for the day so it all worked out. She still needs to learn that it's important to knock on someone's door BEFORE yelling trick or treat, and that the proper way to show appreciation for the candy is to say "thank you", not "I want a lollypop instead", and that you should not go busting into people's houses even if they do have a really cool light up ghost sculpture in the front hall, but she had a blast and is still talking about trick or treating 2 weeks later. Even better, she didn't notice when all of her candy except for one lollypop mysteriously disappeared. We're definitely not going to be able to pull that off next year.
The next few days were spent getting Emily excited about going to the farm, showing up to said farm only to find out that it was closed for rain (even though there was no rain), desperately trying to find a different farm to take a very disappointed 2 year old to, going back to the original farm the next day because damn it, I had free tickets and I was going to use them, realizing that chasing a toddler up and down slides and onto moon bounces alone CAN'T be good for keeping babies that are not yet finished gestating inside where they belong, taking Emily to the local science center's open house because she needed some education after all that fresh air (and apparently because I was trying to kill myself), then kind of just dropping dead with the swine flu.
I am now DECIDEDLY immune to the swine flu, because when I showed up to my OB last Friday coughing my lungs out into my fetching little SARS mask, the nurses said "Oh pshaw! You can get the swine flu shot unless you're moderately to seriously ill" and gave it to me. I certainly FELT at least moderately ill, and a swine flu test or even having them take my temperature before getting all needle-happy would've been nice, but they know what they're doing, right?
Then I don't really remember much about the next 4-5 days, except that my lungs somehow filled with razor blades and that I called the ER at 3AM on Saturday night because I figured my flu had gone into pneumonia or bronchitis but I wanted to make sure they'd bother to admit me if I bothered to drag myself in. Of course they don't give medical advice over the phone and told me to call my doctor, but the thought of trying to get the OB on call (who barely speaks english) to understand my hoarse croaking over the phone, followed by a night of sitting on a hard bench in the ER waiting room exhausted me enough that I was able to fall asleep and just continue my fevered moaning from home for the next few days. Also Tamiflu? Sucks.
So now I've finally started wobbling, delicate and weak, back out into the world, and it's a scary place. After spending so very long on my couch, I kind of miss it. There are no nor'easters hitting my couch, there are no preschool representatives trying to sell me their "hands-on approach to education" on my couch, and there are no impossibly, exhaustingly wide grocery stores to walk across when I'm on my couch. And on my couch I am not asked to do high-level problem solving, like "Should you buy ice cream now, when you don't have time to run it home to your freezer before it's time for your ultrasound appointment?" or "Should you bring some food to eat or just randomly run errands until it's too late to get lunch and then have to starve until you can go home again?"
I am hoping it's just that I'm not fully recovered yet. It's tough to take it easy when you've finally started feeling better and the doghair tumbleweeds are starting to become sentient and the groceries are not buying themselves and preschool waitlists are filling up, but I'm hoping if I force myself to take it slow, I will be back to normal (well, pregnant normal) soon. I don't think I can handle bumping around in this squinty brain fog, crashing into curbs and melting gallons of ice cream for much longer.
And because I don't have the brain to figure out a good way to finish this post, LOOK! PICTURES!
One excited eff-a-lant
Emily, Will, and me looking huge in my Juno costume that I kind of ran out of motivation for putting together
Pictures from the ultrasound...they surprised us and did a couple in 3D which was awesome
Charlotte's nose and mouth
Fight the power! Also, hide the face, which Charlotte does fantastically
Halloween was incredibly busy, like I fell asleep at my friends' Halloween party on the couch watching Bolt with the toddlers before 10PM busy (I am a party ANIMAL). But we managed to take Emily trick or treating as an eff-a-lant, and that was my goal for the day so it all worked out. She still needs to learn that it's important to knock on someone's door BEFORE yelling trick or treat, and that the proper way to show appreciation for the candy is to say "thank you", not "I want a lollypop instead", and that you should not go busting into people's houses even if they do have a really cool light up ghost sculpture in the front hall, but she had a blast and is still talking about trick or treating 2 weeks later. Even better, she didn't notice when all of her candy except for one lollypop mysteriously disappeared. We're definitely not going to be able to pull that off next year.
The next few days were spent getting Emily excited about going to the farm, showing up to said farm only to find out that it was closed for rain (even though there was no rain), desperately trying to find a different farm to take a very disappointed 2 year old to, going back to the original farm the next day because damn it, I had free tickets and I was going to use them, realizing that chasing a toddler up and down slides and onto moon bounces alone CAN'T be good for keeping babies that are not yet finished gestating inside where they belong, taking Emily to the local science center's open house because she needed some education after all that fresh air (and apparently because I was trying to kill myself), then kind of just dropping dead with the swine flu.
I am now DECIDEDLY immune to the swine flu, because when I showed up to my OB last Friday coughing my lungs out into my fetching little SARS mask, the nurses said "Oh pshaw! You can get the swine flu shot unless you're moderately to seriously ill" and gave it to me. I certainly FELT at least moderately ill, and a swine flu test or even having them take my temperature before getting all needle-happy would've been nice, but they know what they're doing, right?
Then I don't really remember much about the next 4-5 days, except that my lungs somehow filled with razor blades and that I called the ER at 3AM on Saturday night because I figured my flu had gone into pneumonia or bronchitis but I wanted to make sure they'd bother to admit me if I bothered to drag myself in. Of course they don't give medical advice over the phone and told me to call my doctor, but the thought of trying to get the OB on call (who barely speaks english) to understand my hoarse croaking over the phone, followed by a night of sitting on a hard bench in the ER waiting room exhausted me enough that I was able to fall asleep and just continue my fevered moaning from home for the next few days. Also Tamiflu? Sucks.
So now I've finally started wobbling, delicate and weak, back out into the world, and it's a scary place. After spending so very long on my couch, I kind of miss it. There are no nor'easters hitting my couch, there are no preschool representatives trying to sell me their "hands-on approach to education" on my couch, and there are no impossibly, exhaustingly wide grocery stores to walk across when I'm on my couch. And on my couch I am not asked to do high-level problem solving, like "Should you buy ice cream now, when you don't have time to run it home to your freezer before it's time for your ultrasound appointment?" or "Should you bring some food to eat or just randomly run errands until it's too late to get lunch and then have to starve until you can go home again?"
I am hoping it's just that I'm not fully recovered yet. It's tough to take it easy when you've finally started feeling better and the doghair tumbleweeds are starting to become sentient and the groceries are not buying themselves and preschool waitlists are filling up, but I'm hoping if I force myself to take it slow, I will be back to normal (well, pregnant normal) soon. I don't think I can handle bumping around in this squinty brain fog, crashing into curbs and melting gallons of ice cream for much longer.
And because I don't have the brain to figure out a good way to finish this post, LOOK! PICTURES!
One excited eff-a-lant
Emily, Will, and me looking huge in my Juno costume that I kind of ran out of motivation for putting together
Pictures from the ultrasound...they surprised us and did a couple in 3D which was awesome
Charlotte's nose and mouth
Fight the power! Also, hide the face, which Charlotte does fantastically
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Bad timing
I have decided that for all the planning and waiting we did before getting pregnant with Charlotte, we still timed it badly. I have been worried about it snowing on delivery day since the beginning, but I'm starting to settle down about that a little. I just SO don't want to have Charlotte at home and have to clean up afterward...it was much nicer to have a team of nurses do that for me last time. I will also consider it a miracle if I manage to attend my friends' wedding in the beginning of January without my water breaking on the floor, or right as I crawl exhausted into bed that night next to a drunk husband.
But now, on top of that, it seems I've decided to have a baby smack in the middle of (what the media is telling us will be) the worst flu season in 30 years, and daily I struggle with "I need to get a flu shot, but there aren't any flu shots to be had anyway, but maybe I SHOULDN'T get a flu shot because the H1N1 vaccine is so new and hasn't been tested on pregnant women and remember DES and thalidomide, but if I DON'T get the shots then Charlotte won't have any immunity and if she gets sick I'll never forgive myself and I am careful about Emily's vaccines and NEVER get her the yearly flu shot but maybe I should this year and oops, my head just exploded". Then Will tells me that our AWESOME insurance is going to turn into not nearly as awesome insurance as of January 1st, just in time for me to rack up a $14,000 hospital stay. That is, IF I'm lucky enough not to need pain meds or a C-section or have any complications. If I have Charlotte as early as I had Emily, I will be giving birth on January 5th. It's enough to make me want to induce on the 31st just so that I'm covered under the old plan AND get a tax deduction for this year. But that would probably leave me delivering in a broom closet, since lots of people seem to aim for that time of year.
Having a baby just wasn't exciting enough for me, I guess I had to add in some extra stress.
BUT, I have now bought a couple of warm footie pajamas and sleep sacks for Charlotte, moved a bookcase out of her room, and my mom has ordered the crib. So we're practically all ready to bring her home (hah). Oh yeah, and I have probably already gained my allotted amount of weight for my entire pregnancy, so I have that covered too. I am not sure though, since every time I see a scale I hiss and run away. I am virtuously eating a carrot right now because I'm sure that'll undo all the bad eating I've been doing.
The problem with getting ready now is that if I were to get Charlotte's crib all made up, the bedding would be dusty by the time I brought her home to sleep in it and I'd have to wash it again anyway, and if I did start cooking up extra dinners to freeze then there wouldn't be ANY room left in the freezer, instead of the approximately 1/100th of a cubic foot of free space we enjoy now. But if I wait much longer I'll have even less energy for doing these things, plus I'll be in the middle of holiday season which comes with its own impressive to do list.
It shouldn't be surprising to me anymore that parenting presents you with never-ending conundrums, but it is still annoying. Especially since I've brought most of these issues on myself with my poor choice of baby timing.
So I've been cleaning. I hope it's not nesting, or at least if it is I hope it's a very early bout of nesting. Even though I will have to clean everything again a million times before Charlotte makes her appearance, cleaning is a nice distraction from stressing about the things that it's too early to do, and the things I have no control over. Plus if it turns out I do actually need to take people up on the offers to clean my house, at least they'll be cleaning a house that was clean not too long ago. I'm not sure what about my upbringing caused me to think that no one will like me unless my house is clean, but it's there in my psyche.
And all the while, Charlotte's kicks and punches and rolls get stronger and stronger, to the point where I wonder if she's trying to liberate herself without the benefit of labor contractions (or to the point where I am considering liberating her myself without the benefit of labor contractions just to ease the discomfort), reminding me that snow or not, wedding attended or not, stocked freezer and completed nursery and clean house or not, she's coming soon.
But now, on top of that, it seems I've decided to have a baby smack in the middle of (what the media is telling us will be) the worst flu season in 30 years, and daily I struggle with "I need to get a flu shot, but there aren't any flu shots to be had anyway, but maybe I SHOULDN'T get a flu shot because the H1N1 vaccine is so new and hasn't been tested on pregnant women and remember DES and thalidomide, but if I DON'T get the shots then Charlotte won't have any immunity and if she gets sick I'll never forgive myself and I am careful about Emily's vaccines and NEVER get her the yearly flu shot but maybe I should this year and oops, my head just exploded". Then Will tells me that our AWESOME insurance is going to turn into not nearly as awesome insurance as of January 1st, just in time for me to rack up a $14,000 hospital stay. That is, IF I'm lucky enough not to need pain meds or a C-section or have any complications. If I have Charlotte as early as I had Emily, I will be giving birth on January 5th. It's enough to make me want to induce on the 31st just so that I'm covered under the old plan AND get a tax deduction for this year. But that would probably leave me delivering in a broom closet, since lots of people seem to aim for that time of year.
Having a baby just wasn't exciting enough for me, I guess I had to add in some extra stress.
BUT, I have now bought a couple of warm footie pajamas and sleep sacks for Charlotte, moved a bookcase out of her room, and my mom has ordered the crib. So we're practically all ready to bring her home (hah). Oh yeah, and I have probably already gained my allotted amount of weight for my entire pregnancy, so I have that covered too. I am not sure though, since every time I see a scale I hiss and run away. I am virtuously eating a carrot right now because I'm sure that'll undo all the bad eating I've been doing.
The problem with getting ready now is that if I were to get Charlotte's crib all made up, the bedding would be dusty by the time I brought her home to sleep in it and I'd have to wash it again anyway, and if I did start cooking up extra dinners to freeze then there wouldn't be ANY room left in the freezer, instead of the approximately 1/100th of a cubic foot of free space we enjoy now. But if I wait much longer I'll have even less energy for doing these things, plus I'll be in the middle of holiday season which comes with its own impressive to do list.
It shouldn't be surprising to me anymore that parenting presents you with never-ending conundrums, but it is still annoying. Especially since I've brought most of these issues on myself with my poor choice of baby timing.
So I've been cleaning. I hope it's not nesting, or at least if it is I hope it's a very early bout of nesting. Even though I will have to clean everything again a million times before Charlotte makes her appearance, cleaning is a nice distraction from stressing about the things that it's too early to do, and the things I have no control over. Plus if it turns out I do actually need to take people up on the offers to clean my house, at least they'll be cleaning a house that was clean not too long ago. I'm not sure what about my upbringing caused me to think that no one will like me unless my house is clean, but it's there in my psyche.
And all the while, Charlotte's kicks and punches and rolls get stronger and stronger, to the point where I wonder if she's trying to liberate herself without the benefit of labor contractions (or to the point where I am considering liberating her myself without the benefit of labor contractions just to ease the discomfort), reminding me that snow or not, wedding attended or not, stocked freezer and completed nursery and clean house or not, she's coming soon.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
High Voltage
A new restaurant called Volt opened in Frederick about a year ago. Everyone raved about it, and when Will's and my 5th anniversary came around, we decided to try it out. It was, of course, heavenly. We got the 5 and 7 course "chef's kitchen" dinner with wine pairing, and although it was an absolute ton of wine and we got quite giggly, we did NOT drop to the floor as soon as we stood up from our table like the lady next to us did, so I considered it a win. The food was fabulous too :-)
The head chef, Bryan Voltaggio grew up in Frederick, and after getting his training he came back to Frederick and opened his own restaurant. There's definitely nothing else like it in Frederick, and it's really nice that someone had enough faith in us backcountry Fredericktonians to open a gourmet restaurant here.
I have been to Volt quite a lot in the past month, but never really to eat. A couple weeks ago, after a girls night with some friends, Carolyn and I walked Wendy to her car which happened to be parked in front of Volt. As we lingered on the sidewalk saying the long goodbyes that women are famous for, the Maitre d' came outside and invited us in. When we told him we'd just finished eating, he offered to give us a tour, so we said why not. Now Bryan Voltaggio is currently on Top Chef (and kicking butt), so even though I have been to Volt before and seen him before, it was difficult not to fangirl all over the place. I mean, I KNOW I've seen him before, and heck, he even brought food to my table the last time we were there for dinner, but now he's on TV! Plus I knew after eating his food that he was talented, but now that he's competing against some of the best chefs in the nation and WINNING, I have more context for exactly HOW good he is. How can you not squeal slightly (even if it's under your breath) when in the presence of a food god? To recover a bit from the embarrassment of traipsing through the restaurant like tourists who have never eaten anywhere but Friendly's before, I promised the Maitre d' that we'd be back on Wednesday for the Top Chef party and to actually eat.
Luckily, everything kind of fell into place and we managed to get there on Wednesday. It turned out to be a Top Chef repeat that week which was disappointing, but at least I got to eat there, even if it was only off the bar menu.
Still later that same week, we ended up back at Volt during the In The Streets festival. We were picking up a gift card on behalf of my new brother-in-law's parents (who live in California, so it was a bit difficult for them to get it). Poor Will wanted to hang out in the outside lounge area they had set up and have some drinks with our friends who were there, but he had the misfortune to be accompanied by a starving pregnant wife and a daughter who decided it was the perfect location to pee her pants, so we weren't able to stay long. At least when Emily grows up and we take her to Volt for a celebratory dinner we can embarrass her back by telling the waiter about how she peed herself at this very restaurant however many years ago. Teenagers always talk about how hideously embarrassing their parents are, but what they don't consider is how WAY more hideously embarrassing it was for those parents to even leave the house when their kid was 2.5 year old. Why, these hypothetical parents might've had to apologize profusely to a salesman after their child climbed to the very top level of the tallest, most expensive playground set at a showroom and then let loose an impressive stream of urine that was heard echoing throughout the empty salesfloor as it splashed down through three levels of playground fun. They might've had to helplessly push a puddle of pee* around the floor of Toys R Us because the adolescent sales associate only brought them a couple sheets of that delightfully cardboard-like and completely non-absorbent paper product from the bathroom with which to clean up said pee. Or they might've had to stand in a crowded grocery store checkout line pretending they didn't hear (while their cheeks blazed and totally gave them away) when their 2.5 year old crawled under their skirt and loudly announced "Mommy I can see your 'gina", EVEN THOUGH I SWEAR I WAS WEARING UNDERWEAR. I mean, even though these hypothetical parents were totally wearing underwear.
What was I saying before?
Oh yeah. After all of those visits to Volt, it's about time to go there for real, and NOT in the company of my daughter. So in belated celebration of our 6 year wedding anniversary (Will was up in Chicago for a bachelor party on our actual anniversary, but he brought me a box of Vosges truffles, so we're all squared up) we are going to Volt this Friday. I don't know what makes me more excited; going to Volt and actually getting to eat dinner, the fact that they now offer a 21 course tasting menu, or the fact that my mom is taking Emily overnight. After enjoying 2 months during which Emily didn't seem to realize she could exit her room by herself, the honeymoon is over. She is up at 7ish every day (5:20 this morning) knocking softly at our door. She has even started coming to visit at night. We heard her knocking at a particularly inopportune time earlier this week, which has made all our other inopportune times since a bit more guarded. I don't want her first memory (or any memory for that matter) to be of THAT.
So yeah. Volt food, date time with Will, and luxuriating in bed until (gasp) 7:30AM (or possibly even 8 if we are feeling decadent) are very good reasons to keep dragging my ever-increasing bulk through this week where nothing seems to get done yet I am still somehow always tired. And if all that is not enticement enough, I am also getting a haircut on Friday, and a massage on Sunday. So hurry up, week. I am totally sick of you and I have way better things to be doing.
*Despite these three incidents that happened a couple weeks ago, Emily IS in fact back to being 100% daytime potty trained but I am certain she will be able to find plenty of non urine-related ways to embarrass me in public. Otherwise, what will I blog about?
The head chef, Bryan Voltaggio grew up in Frederick, and after getting his training he came back to Frederick and opened his own restaurant. There's definitely nothing else like it in Frederick, and it's really nice that someone had enough faith in us backcountry Fredericktonians to open a gourmet restaurant here.
I have been to Volt quite a lot in the past month, but never really to eat. A couple weeks ago, after a girls night with some friends, Carolyn and I walked Wendy to her car which happened to be parked in front of Volt. As we lingered on the sidewalk saying the long goodbyes that women are famous for, the Maitre d' came outside and invited us in. When we told him we'd just finished eating, he offered to give us a tour, so we said why not. Now Bryan Voltaggio is currently on Top Chef (and kicking butt), so even though I have been to Volt before and seen him before, it was difficult not to fangirl all over the place. I mean, I KNOW I've seen him before, and heck, he even brought food to my table the last time we were there for dinner, but now he's on TV! Plus I knew after eating his food that he was talented, but now that he's competing against some of the best chefs in the nation and WINNING, I have more context for exactly HOW good he is. How can you not squeal slightly (even if it's under your breath) when in the presence of a food god? To recover a bit from the embarrassment of traipsing through the restaurant like tourists who have never eaten anywhere but Friendly's before, I promised the Maitre d' that we'd be back on Wednesday for the Top Chef party and to actually eat.
Luckily, everything kind of fell into place and we managed to get there on Wednesday. It turned out to be a Top Chef repeat that week which was disappointing, but at least I got to eat there, even if it was only off the bar menu.
Still later that same week, we ended up back at Volt during the In The Streets festival. We were picking up a gift card on behalf of my new brother-in-law's parents (who live in California, so it was a bit difficult for them to get it). Poor Will wanted to hang out in the outside lounge area they had set up and have some drinks with our friends who were there, but he had the misfortune to be accompanied by a starving pregnant wife and a daughter who decided it was the perfect location to pee her pants, so we weren't able to stay long. At least when Emily grows up and we take her to Volt for a celebratory dinner we can embarrass her back by telling the waiter about how she peed herself at this very restaurant however many years ago. Teenagers always talk about how hideously embarrassing their parents are, but what they don't consider is how WAY more hideously embarrassing it was for those parents to even leave the house when their kid was 2.5 year old. Why, these hypothetical parents might've had to apologize profusely to a salesman after their child climbed to the very top level of the tallest, most expensive playground set at a showroom and then let loose an impressive stream of urine that was heard echoing throughout the empty salesfloor as it splashed down through three levels of playground fun. They might've had to helplessly push a puddle of pee* around the floor of Toys R Us because the adolescent sales associate only brought them a couple sheets of that delightfully cardboard-like and completely non-absorbent paper product from the bathroom with which to clean up said pee. Or they might've had to stand in a crowded grocery store checkout line pretending they didn't hear (while their cheeks blazed and totally gave them away) when their 2.5 year old crawled under their skirt and loudly announced "Mommy I can see your 'gina", EVEN THOUGH I SWEAR I WAS WEARING UNDERWEAR. I mean, even though these hypothetical parents were totally wearing underwear.
What was I saying before?
Oh yeah. After all of those visits to Volt, it's about time to go there for real, and NOT in the company of my daughter. So in belated celebration of our 6 year wedding anniversary (Will was up in Chicago for a bachelor party on our actual anniversary, but he brought me a box of Vosges truffles, so we're all squared up) we are going to Volt this Friday. I don't know what makes me more excited; going to Volt and actually getting to eat dinner, the fact that they now offer a 21 course tasting menu, or the fact that my mom is taking Emily overnight. After enjoying 2 months during which Emily didn't seem to realize she could exit her room by herself, the honeymoon is over. She is up at 7ish every day (5:20 this morning) knocking softly at our door. She has even started coming to visit at night. We heard her knocking at a particularly inopportune time earlier this week, which has made all our other inopportune times since a bit more guarded. I don't want her first memory (or any memory for that matter) to be of THAT.
So yeah. Volt food, date time with Will, and luxuriating in bed until (gasp) 7:30AM (or possibly even 8 if we are feeling decadent) are very good reasons to keep dragging my ever-increasing bulk through this week where nothing seems to get done yet I am still somehow always tired. And if all that is not enticement enough, I am also getting a haircut on Friday, and a massage on Sunday. So hurry up, week. I am totally sick of you and I have way better things to be doing.
*Despite these three incidents that happened a couple weeks ago, Emily IS in fact back to being 100% daytime potty trained but I am certain she will be able to find plenty of non urine-related ways to embarrass me in public. Otherwise, what will I blog about?
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Angry angry hippos
I had another doctor's appointment today, and all is well. I saw Dr. "Are you sure it's not twins...well don't worry, it IS your second pregnancy" again, and once again, he pulled the same crap. He unrolled the measuring tape, held it almost all the way up to my sternum, and said "Wow, the baby is growing FAST!" Then he paused just long enough for me to envision myself struggling to push out an 11 pound monster baby, and amended "Actually you're measuring 26cm, that's exactly right". Does this guy just not think before he talks? Does my stomach just LOOK huge because the rest of me is so very svelte and willowy? No matter what, I don't think I want to see him anymore.
I had my gestational diabetes test today, so I got to drink thekool aid medicinal-grade bug juice. I know the stuff has to be super-sweet, but does it have to be chock full of red dye too? Are they TRYING to make it as bad for you and the baby as possible? Don't get me wrong, I am far from angelic about my eating, but it just seems unnecessary to make it dayglo red.
So I got to experience the dizzying (nauseating) high, followed EXACTLY 30 minutes later by the spectacular crash that led me to notice that a certain set of 3 chairs in the waiting room did not have dividing armrests between the seats, and if they left them off then it's TOTALLY ok for me to just crawl over there and lay down for a bit, right? I mean, if they WEREN'T inviting me to lay down in the waiting room they would've put armrests between ALL the chairs.
Tomorrow marks 27 weeks for me, and depending on which source you go by, it also marks the end of the 2nd trimester (commonly referred to as the "feel-good" trimester) and the beginning of the 3rd (commonly referred to as the "angry hippo" trimester). I think Charlotte has been keeping track. I could almost hear her think "Ok, we've reached the 3rd trimester, time for you to be uncomfortable now" as she executed a somersault and flipped head-down. This is excellent in theory, because that is where she's supposed to be facing, but in practice it sux. I think I have been very generous with the percentage of my body I have devoted to housing her, but it felt like she was trying to crawl into a couple of places she is not supposed to be, namely my spine and my bladder. Today my waddle is a bit more pronounced (I can still walk like a normal person, but it feels SO much better to waddle and my dignity is gone anyway so why not be comfortable?) and my belly is larger still. I remember getting all whiny around 31 weeks when I was pregnant with Emily, so I guess it makes sense that it would happen a bit earlier this time. And adding to my issues is the fact that I have run into 2 other pregnant women in the past 2 days who are both at least as far along as I am, and they were both still tiny and nimble. I, on the other hand, have been grunting so much as I shuffle through my day that I've noticed Emily now exclaims "Ooof!" every time she sits down.
I know, whaaaa! I spend the first 16 weeks of pregnancy complaining that I have no belly and then a mere 11 weeks later I'm back at it complaining that I look big and pregnant and HEY YEAH, now I remember that this pregnancy thing is actually pretty uncomfortable.
Oh well. 11-ish weeks from now I'll be complaining that at least when I was pregnant I had an excuse to be fat and BOY are babies easier to take care of when they're inside you. But we'll have a Charlotte, and she'll (probably) have a middle name, and I'll be in the throes of the love that makes it all worth it.
I still get to complain though.
I had my gestational diabetes test today, so I got to drink the
So I got to experience the dizzying (nauseating) high, followed EXACTLY 30 minutes later by the spectacular crash that led me to notice that a certain set of 3 chairs in the waiting room did not have dividing armrests between the seats, and if they left them off then it's TOTALLY ok for me to just crawl over there and lay down for a bit, right? I mean, if they WEREN'T inviting me to lay down in the waiting room they would've put armrests between ALL the chairs.
Tomorrow marks 27 weeks for me, and depending on which source you go by, it also marks the end of the 2nd trimester (commonly referred to as the "feel-good" trimester) and the beginning of the 3rd (commonly referred to as the "angry hippo" trimester). I think Charlotte has been keeping track. I could almost hear her think "Ok, we've reached the 3rd trimester, time for you to be uncomfortable now" as she executed a somersault and flipped head-down. This is excellent in theory, because that is where she's supposed to be facing, but in practice it sux. I think I have been very generous with the percentage of my body I have devoted to housing her, but it felt like she was trying to crawl into a couple of places she is not supposed to be, namely my spine and my bladder. Today my waddle is a bit more pronounced (I can still walk like a normal person, but it feels SO much better to waddle and my dignity is gone anyway so why not be comfortable?) and my belly is larger still. I remember getting all whiny around 31 weeks when I was pregnant with Emily, so I guess it makes sense that it would happen a bit earlier this time. And adding to my issues is the fact that I have run into 2 other pregnant women in the past 2 days who are both at least as far along as I am, and they were both still tiny and nimble. I, on the other hand, have been grunting so much as I shuffle through my day that I've noticed Emily now exclaims "Ooof!" every time she sits down.
I know, whaaaa! I spend the first 16 weeks of pregnancy complaining that I have no belly and then a mere 11 weeks later I'm back at it complaining that I look big and pregnant and HEY YEAH, now I remember that this pregnancy thing is actually pretty uncomfortable.
Oh well. 11-ish weeks from now I'll be complaining that at least when I was pregnant I had an excuse to be fat and BOY are babies easier to take care of when they're inside you. But we'll have a Charlotte, and she'll (probably) have a middle name, and I'll be in the throes of the love that makes it all worth it.
I still get to complain though.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Bleeeerghwhaaaa?
Our day today went a little something like this:
7:15AM - Emily wakes up, and therefore Mommy has to wake up
9:00AM - Mommy gives up and allows Emily to start watching Peter Pan, even though we just finished watching Alice in Wonderland because she's too damned tired to try to fight. Plus while Emily watches Peter Pan Mommy can just lay on the couch and not move.
10:00AM - Daddy wakes up, Mommy goes back to sleep
11:45AM - Mommy wakes up as Daddy and Emily return from errands, Emily goes back to sleep
12:00PM - 3:00PM - Emily naps, Daddy works on a class project, and Mommy shuffles around the kitchen trying desperately to wrestle it back from the brink of disaster. Actually, since we're all friends here, I'll admit that it was well over the brink and firmly entrenched in disaster territory.
3:00PM-8:29PM - Mommy and Daddy wish it were 8:30PM so that we could put Emily down for the night and then drag our sorry selves back into our sweet, sweet bed for more sleep.
So yeah, we're pretty much wrecked today, but we have several good reasons. Emily and I accompanied Will on a whirlwind business trip to Philadelphia earlier this week (it was supposed to have been longer, but Will has a very spoiled client who threw a hissy fit and demanded his presence at a meeting in Virginia while we were still supposed to be in Pennsylvania, so we had to cut our short trip even shorter). BUT, we got Emily back into a pool to refresh her swimming skills acquired this summer, and we were able to go to the Please Touch Museum, which is fantastic. It's like the biggest, best indoor playground for toddlers you could ever imagine, and I'm pretty sure Emily wants to move in and live there. She especially liked the Alice in Wonderland garden (which was awesome), and ESPECIALLY especially the Cheshire Cat, which was simply a statue of a cat sitting in a big tree, but apparently he made an impression. It was NOT so fun having to entertain Emily in our hotel lobby for 2 hours between her naptime and the time we needed to pick Will up from his conference to go home because we had to check out a day early and therefore didn't have a room to go to anymore (grrrrr spoiled client), but it is interesting to spend time in hotels these days. Back when Will and I were young, childless free spirits (and even now when we travel without kids), we almost never spent any time in our hotels. All our time was spent out doing things and hotels were only for bed-related activities. When we travel with Emily though, we always check out the hotel pool, we hang in the room for naptime, and we often opt for a room-service dinner because it's way easier than packing her up and making her sit in a restaurant. It's not a WORSE way to travel, it's still very enjoyable, it's just very different. We definitely get our money's worth out of hotels these days.
Also adding to our exhaustion today, Will's sister and our old roommate got married yesterday! Will and I were both in the wedding party, and it was hosted up at the family farm so we had a long weekend of helping out, rehearsing, picture-taking, and partying. It was quite a blast, and now I have my very first brother-in-law (or brother-out-of-law either for that matter), and Emily has her very first uncle. The wedding itself was wonderful...one guest dropped from a suspected heart attack right as the ceremony was about to start, causing the proceedings to have to be delayed 30 minutes while the paramedics carted him away, and there was some jaw-droppingly crazy family drama (which luckily was not at all bride or groom related and transpired safely out of notice of all but one of the guests) but overall the wedding was beautiful, smooth, fun, and everything a wedding should be. Emily OWNED the dance floor from even before the first official dance began to the very last dance of the night. It was hilarious and adorable, but predictably, there were consequences. She fell asleep in the car on the way home, and we had planned to gracefully transfer her from carseat to bed, but of course she woke up confused and furious as we pulled into the garage. Instead of dumping her into bed we had to spend over an hour trying to calm a hyperventilating, hysterical toddler down enough that she could get the sleep she so desperately needed. My daughter is already learning that there are consequences to partying too hard, and alcohol hasn't even entered the picture yet. At least I THINK that was sparkling white grape juice she was drinking.
And now, instead of yakking about it, here are some pictures. I'm ganking them from Mary Kate, a fellow bridesmaid who had her act together enough to bring her camera AND post the pictures the very next day. She even remembered safety pins and things like that, the girl is clearly magic.
Getting married!
Bridesmaids
Tying the knot
Will escorting me back down the aisle
First dance
Getting ready to cut the cake
Why yes I did make the groom cake (no, it's not a caterpillar, and usually I can make better-looking cakes but this was an ice cream roll cake and DAMN those are difficult)
Brad cutting his train cake...why oh why doesn't Baskin Robbins make these anymore (shakes fist at nearest Baskin Robbins)
Emmy and Mommy
Emmy dancing with Daddy
What Emily did for approximately 4 hours straight yesterday
Ummmm, I think we were all whipping it, whipping it good?
Margaret entertaining everyone with her fantastic magic show set to "Final Countdown" (a la Gob on Arrested Development)
Emily's favorite dance move...going under the bridesmaids' skirts
Brad and Will doing...something
It was late at this point...I think they're doing the "Zoidberg"
7:15AM - Emily wakes up, and therefore Mommy has to wake up
9:00AM - Mommy gives up and allows Emily to start watching Peter Pan, even though we just finished watching Alice in Wonderland because she's too damned tired to try to fight. Plus while Emily watches Peter Pan Mommy can just lay on the couch and not move.
10:00AM - Daddy wakes up, Mommy goes back to sleep
11:45AM - Mommy wakes up as Daddy and Emily return from errands, Emily goes back to sleep
12:00PM - 3:00PM - Emily naps, Daddy works on a class project, and Mommy shuffles around the kitchen trying desperately to wrestle it back from the brink of disaster. Actually, since we're all friends here, I'll admit that it was well over the brink and firmly entrenched in disaster territory.
3:00PM-8:29PM - Mommy and Daddy wish it were 8:30PM so that we could put Emily down for the night and then drag our sorry selves back into our sweet, sweet bed for more sleep.
So yeah, we're pretty much wrecked today, but we have several good reasons. Emily and I accompanied Will on a whirlwind business trip to Philadelphia earlier this week (it was supposed to have been longer, but Will has a very spoiled client who threw a hissy fit and demanded his presence at a meeting in Virginia while we were still supposed to be in Pennsylvania, so we had to cut our short trip even shorter). BUT, we got Emily back into a pool to refresh her swimming skills acquired this summer, and we were able to go to the Please Touch Museum, which is fantastic. It's like the biggest, best indoor playground for toddlers you could ever imagine, and I'm pretty sure Emily wants to move in and live there. She especially liked the Alice in Wonderland garden (which was awesome), and ESPECIALLY especially the Cheshire Cat, which was simply a statue of a cat sitting in a big tree, but apparently he made an impression. It was NOT so fun having to entertain Emily in our hotel lobby for 2 hours between her naptime and the time we needed to pick Will up from his conference to go home because we had to check out a day early and therefore didn't have a room to go to anymore (grrrrr spoiled client), but it is interesting to spend time in hotels these days. Back when Will and I were young, childless free spirits (and even now when we travel without kids), we almost never spent any time in our hotels. All our time was spent out doing things and hotels were only for bed-related activities. When we travel with Emily though, we always check out the hotel pool, we hang in the room for naptime, and we often opt for a room-service dinner because it's way easier than packing her up and making her sit in a restaurant. It's not a WORSE way to travel, it's still very enjoyable, it's just very different. We definitely get our money's worth out of hotels these days.
Also adding to our exhaustion today, Will's sister and our old roommate got married yesterday! Will and I were both in the wedding party, and it was hosted up at the family farm so we had a long weekend of helping out, rehearsing, picture-taking, and partying. It was quite a blast, and now I have my very first brother-in-law (or brother-out-of-law either for that matter), and Emily has her very first uncle. The wedding itself was wonderful...one guest dropped from a suspected heart attack right as the ceremony was about to start, causing the proceedings to have to be delayed 30 minutes while the paramedics carted him away, and there was some jaw-droppingly crazy family drama (which luckily was not at all bride or groom related and transpired safely out of notice of all but one of the guests) but overall the wedding was beautiful, smooth, fun, and everything a wedding should be. Emily OWNED the dance floor from even before the first official dance began to the very last dance of the night. It was hilarious and adorable, but predictably, there were consequences. She fell asleep in the car on the way home, and we had planned to gracefully transfer her from carseat to bed, but of course she woke up confused and furious as we pulled into the garage. Instead of dumping her into bed we had to spend over an hour trying to calm a hyperventilating, hysterical toddler down enough that she could get the sleep she so desperately needed. My daughter is already learning that there are consequences to partying too hard, and alcohol hasn't even entered the picture yet. At least I THINK that was sparkling white grape juice she was drinking.
And now, instead of yakking about it, here are some pictures. I'm ganking them from Mary Kate, a fellow bridesmaid who had her act together enough to bring her camera AND post the pictures the very next day. She even remembered safety pins and things like that, the girl is clearly magic.
Getting married!
Bridesmaids
Tying the knot
Will escorting me back down the aisle
First dance
Getting ready to cut the cake
Why yes I did make the groom cake (no, it's not a caterpillar, and usually I can make better-looking cakes but this was an ice cream roll cake and DAMN those are difficult)
Brad cutting his train cake...why oh why doesn't Baskin Robbins make these anymore (shakes fist at nearest Baskin Robbins)
Emmy and Mommy
Emmy dancing with Daddy
What Emily did for approximately 4 hours straight yesterday
Ummmm, I think we were all whipping it, whipping it good?
Margaret entertaining everyone with her fantastic magic show set to "Final Countdown" (a la Gob on Arrested Development)
Emily's favorite dance move...going under the bridesmaids' skirts
Brad and Will doing...something
It was late at this point...I think they're doing the "Zoidberg"
Monday, October 5, 2009
Top 5 songs for making pregnant ladies cry
Well this pregnant lady, anyway.
These days my playlist is like a minefield. I have to be careful about which songs I listen to while Emily is in the car, or while there is a lot of traffic, lest I dissolve into a sniveling mess and cause alarm to those around me. Here I present the top 5 songs I try to avoid.
5. When She Loved Me by Sarah McLaughlin
This is the song that plays in Toy Story 2 when Jessie the cowgirl is thinking about the little girl who used to own her, and how she grew up and got rid of her. Maybe it's because the little girl's name is Emily and she's outgrowing her toys and becoming a pre-teen, but that damned song gets me every time. And of course that's one of Emily's favorite movies to watch these days.
4. Finale B from Rent (or as I think of it, No Day But Today)
I feel like I have kind of "outgrown" Rent. I still like to listen to it, but to 28 year old Sara it seems a bit much. However when it came out I was 15 year old Sara, full of teenage angst, and this musical SPOKE to me. Nevermind the fact that I didn't have AIDS or live in poverty in New York or have any interest in being an artist or even KNOW anyone who was gay, but I found connections the way only a teenager can. My mom took me to see it on Broadway for my 18th birthday. We sang a Rent medley in vocal ensemble. My senior quote was the opening lines of the song, so I definitely have memories associated with it, and I think it's the nostalgia and memories more than anything that make me cry like a baby when I hear it, especially when I'm carrying one.
3. Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA
This song hit me hard a year ago when I saw Mamma Mia in Bar Harbor. I had reached the point where it was time to try for another kidlet if I wanted my children to be 2 years apart, and I was fairly panicked at the thought of having another kid so soon and missing out on a phase of Emily's life while I was focused on a newborn. I worked through my issues shortly thereafter, but this song is still a doozy and I challenge any mama of a little girl to listen to it with dry eyes, especially with pregnancy hormones thrown into the mix.
2. What Sarah Said by Death Cab for Cutie
A song about sitting in the hospital while your loved one fades away, culminating in the line "Love is watching someone die, so who's gonna watch you die?" Who WOULDN'T cry at this song, pregnant or not?
And #1....
The War was in Color by Carbon Leaf
Oh, this song. It came out when I was pregnant with Emily and when I heard it it pretty much knocked me flat with the sobbing. I listened to it a couple times while I wasn't pregnant, and I was able to get through it without crying. I suspected that perhaps just hearing it the first couple times got to me and now I was ok? But that hypothesis was disproven last week, as the song popped up on Will's Ipod while I was driving and I almost had to pull over. I'm talking great, heaving sobs, mascara running down my face, the whole bit. I always have to click a couple tracks back to A Girl And Her Horse in order to recover, because that is by far the crappiest song Carbon Leaf has ever released and it gets my mind off the sad.
So there you have it. If you see me driving around town sobbing, don't worry, it's probably just that one of these songs has popped up and I wasn't fast enough to change the track.
These days my playlist is like a minefield. I have to be careful about which songs I listen to while Emily is in the car, or while there is a lot of traffic, lest I dissolve into a sniveling mess and cause alarm to those around me. Here I present the top 5 songs I try to avoid.
5. When She Loved Me by Sarah McLaughlin
This is the song that plays in Toy Story 2 when Jessie the cowgirl is thinking about the little girl who used to own her, and how she grew up and got rid of her. Maybe it's because the little girl's name is Emily and she's outgrowing her toys and becoming a pre-teen, but that damned song gets me every time. And of course that's one of Emily's favorite movies to watch these days.
4. Finale B from Rent (or as I think of it, No Day But Today)
I feel like I have kind of "outgrown" Rent. I still like to listen to it, but to 28 year old Sara it seems a bit much. However when it came out I was 15 year old Sara, full of teenage angst, and this musical SPOKE to me. Nevermind the fact that I didn't have AIDS or live in poverty in New York or have any interest in being an artist or even KNOW anyone who was gay, but I found connections the way only a teenager can. My mom took me to see it on Broadway for my 18th birthday. We sang a Rent medley in vocal ensemble. My senior quote was the opening lines of the song, so I definitely have memories associated with it, and I think it's the nostalgia and memories more than anything that make me cry like a baby when I hear it, especially when I'm carrying one.
3. Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA
This song hit me hard a year ago when I saw Mamma Mia in Bar Harbor. I had reached the point where it was time to try for another kidlet if I wanted my children to be 2 years apart, and I was fairly panicked at the thought of having another kid so soon and missing out on a phase of Emily's life while I was focused on a newborn. I worked through my issues shortly thereafter, but this song is still a doozy and I challenge any mama of a little girl to listen to it with dry eyes, especially with pregnancy hormones thrown into the mix.
2. What Sarah Said by Death Cab for Cutie
A song about sitting in the hospital while your loved one fades away, culminating in the line "Love is watching someone die, so who's gonna watch you die?" Who WOULDN'T cry at this song, pregnant or not?
And #1....
The War was in Color by Carbon Leaf
Oh, this song. It came out when I was pregnant with Emily and when I heard it it pretty much knocked me flat with the sobbing. I listened to it a couple times while I wasn't pregnant, and I was able to get through it without crying. I suspected that perhaps just hearing it the first couple times got to me and now I was ok? But that hypothesis was disproven last week, as the song popped up on Will's Ipod while I was driving and I almost had to pull over. I'm talking great, heaving sobs, mascara running down my face, the whole bit. I always have to click a couple tracks back to A Girl And Her Horse in order to recover, because that is by far the crappiest song Carbon Leaf has ever released and it gets my mind off the sad.
So there you have it. If you see me driving around town sobbing, don't worry, it's probably just that one of these songs has popped up and I wasn't fast enough to change the track.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)