I can't go to sleep tonight. When I try, my mind wanders, and no matter what it wanders to I get angry and worked up. So in an effort to get some things off my chest, I am posting to my blog and hoping that writing things out will let me calm down enough to get some rest.
Reasons I am inordinately angry:
#1 (The biggest one) It's time of the month and I'm hormonal.
#2 I was not able to take my Salsa Aerobics class tonight because it is now limited to 40 students only and you have to sign up ahead of time and I wasn't ever alerted, so I drove to Frederick for no reason today. Apparently my gym has decided that instead of perhaps allowing us to open a door to get some air into the studio they are going to punish their paying members by making us remember to call the day before every time and submit to having our name checked off a list like a kindergartener on a field trip. Yes this caused me to cry for over an hour tonight, but all I can say is see #1.
#3 I had to have a confrontation with Emily's Pediatrician today to keep him from giving her 5 shots at once (9 vaccinations in all). I have discussed with him before that we want to space out Emily's vaccines, so I didn't appreciate the pressure he laid on me to get her vaccinated for EVERYTHING at once. Honestly, Hep A? I don't think Emily has booked a trip to any 3rd world countries without my knowledge, so I think we're safe for a little while there. At least I won that one, and she only had one vaccine today.
#4 I bought some meat from the butcher while I was at the Menonite Market today exchanging a table for my mother, and I apparently paid but left the meat sitting on the counter.
#5 I have to spend all day Sunday shopping for, traveling to, preparing food for and cleaning up after a small gathering for my MIL's birthday. I wouldn't mind this so much, except for the fact that....
#6 I have to spend MY birthday recovering from a flight up to Rochester with Emily and attending an informal family reunion of my MIL's family. Normally I would just resign myself to attending something like this, although I am dreading the flight, but I am selfish about my birthday and this is probably THE single way in the world I would least like to spend it. I know 27 isn't all that momentous, but since I've become a mother I cling to those few days of the year when I can do whatever I want without feeling guilty.
So I guess in order to be therapeutic I should now make a list of reasons I have to be happy.
#1 I have an awesome husband and a fantastic little girl.
#2 My fantastic little girl went to sleep without a fuss tonight, after 3 nights straight of hours-long epic bedtime battles.
#3 My awesome husband is planning a "birthday observed" for me sometime in the near future to make up for the fact that I have to spend my real birthday in less-than-fun pursuits.
#4 Tomorrow will be busy, but it will be spent hanging out with some of my mom friends at a toddler playdate, going to the gym (grrrrrrr...remember Sara, this is the happy list) and attending some sort of dinner/cocktail thingy in the evening, which Emily is invited to!
#5 The things on my angry list right now are forgetting meat, missing an aerobics class and family reunions and not anything that would make me angry while not hormonal like losing my house in a flood (not actually having a house makes this less likely), facing persecution, being the victim of a crime etc.
#6 I'm feeling sleepy now.