Monday, December 17, 2007

Emily's Christmas List

My daughter is already disobeying me every chance she gets. She even deleted my post here while I was writing it, so this is my second shot. It makes me fear for her teenage years. If she is this bad now, when she's barely even mobile, how much worse will it get then?

Emily's Christmas list, if Emily could write, would look something like this:

-A 6-pack of Minguses
-Electrical wires, preferably plugged in to a power source
-Plastic grocery bags
-A plastic tape measurer (the kind with sharp edges and metal on either end)
-A broom

I take issue with all of these things. I have explained to Emily that none of them are good for babies to play with. Doggies don't like it when you try to bite them and pull on their hair (especially high-strung doggies like Mingus), electrical wires can electrocute you once you have more than two teeth to bite them with, plastic grocery bags can suffocate you, the tape measurer is a strangulation hazard and can cut you, and a broom is just nasty, but these items are her favorite things in the world. If any one of these things comes into her line of vision, her face lights up and she utters an earsplitting shriek of joy as she wiggles her way towards the object she's spotted.

Tomorrow I'm going to attempt to take her to see Santa, I am going to have to stay close by to make sure she doesn't ask him for an electrical plastic Mingus with a broom. A regular Mingus is more than enough Mingus for one household.

Speaking of Mingus, he's a pretty infected guy. We brought him home from the kennel, and he developed an eye infection like he always does after staying there. Luckily I had some leftover eye ointment and took care of that myself. Next, he started the telltale scratching-followed-by-yelping routine that signifies an ear infection. I just got him in to the vet, and it turns out it's a yeast infection, so I have to give him ungodly-expensive antifungal cream in his ear every night. I should've just bought a tube of Monistat at Safeway, probably would've saved me a bunch of money. The problem here is that Mingus is not a good enough dog to warrant me having to constantly medicate him and take tender care of him as I nurse him through his troubles. If he were a steadfast and devoted dog who loved me, that would be one thing. But he spends most of his time growling or whining at me, trying to push me to wherever he wants me to go, and nibbling on my baby (it must be the Dingo in him). He's much better than he was, and he was a rescue dog so I guess he's pretty good considering all that, but geez. If he's going to be so sickly, he should be a good dog and make it worth my while that I have to cram pills down his slimy throat and anoint his various infected body parts with ointment. Blech.

Other than trying to keep my baby from killing herself and medicating my dog, I am spending my time these days getting ready for Christmas. I have to take my car in for it's check-up tomorrow, so while I'm out I hope to finish my Christmas shopping and get stamps so that I can spend the rest of the week holed up at home wrapping presents and sending out Christmas cards. I don't know what I'm going to do next year when Emily will recognize her presents. Right now they're sitting in a box about 4 feet from where she usually hangs out and she's none the wiser. I think that's awesome. I don't have room in my house to hid presents everywhere, every nook and cranny is already filled with stuff we don't need but dang it we might one day so we're keeping it just in case. And we'll probably be getting another round of unusual gifts from Will's Grandma to pop in the closets this year.

I hope you all enjoy your respective goofy Grandmother gifts, Happy Holidays to everyone!

There, are you happy Will?


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