First-ish

We've had lots of things going on lately that were KIND of firsts. There was Emily's first day of preschool, which was kind of also not a first since she went to the same preschool with the same teachers last year.

Also Emily had her first-ish dentist appointment last week. The first one she made it all the way through anyway. We tried over a year ago but I had to carry her out screaming uncontrollably when she had a complete meltdown before they could even look in her mouth.
Everything was going so well...

The most recent dentist appointment was also harrowing, and Emily took a good 10 minutes of convincing before she'd let the hygenist brush even one tooth. She hates being tickled, and she was afraid the tooth brushing was going to tickle. She also spit on the floor (there was no sink!) and hosed down the tools area with the sprayer, but we made it through and she now agrees that it wasn't so bad.
More mature, but still a goofball

Will and I went to our first wine festival in a long time. We used to go fairly often, but mobile kids and wine festivals don't really mix so we've been out of the scene for awhile. I was AMAZED at what has happened to the wine-making industry in Maryland since the last time we went to this festival 5 years ago. There used to be about 8 wineries that came to the MD wine festivals, only 2 of which were any good at making anything other than really sweet wine. This time there were almost 40 wineries! I sampled about 9 (holy crap, it didn't feel like that many!) and was very impressed with some of them! There were even some Rosés that were decent, and it's really tough to pull those off in the best of circumstances, let alone in chilly Maryland. The development of the Traminette grape in the last couple of years really seems to have helped MD's wineries because it grows well around here and makes a tasty wine. In any case, it was worth coming out in the rain, and Will and I had fun on our wine festival date!
Dry wines on a wet day

Ok, yeah, it does look like I tasted 9 wineries

Then came Emily's second first dance class. We started her in dance classes a year ago at Little Gym, but after the excitement of the first couple weeks had worn off she'd just sit there and cry the whole class. After we finished out the semester we stopped because a little girl wearing a tutu just sitting in the corner and crying is super-depressing. Since my sister showed her an episode of So You Think You Can Dance at the beach this summer, Emily's dearest wish has been to learn to dance, so we've started her back up at dance classes, this time at a "real" dance studio. This place is more expensive, but you pay by the month instead of by the semester, so hopefully this time we can stick it out. Also it turns out her teacher is the same woman to used to teach ME tap back when I was 9 years old who now has her own studio, so that's all very neat and leaves me humming "Circle of Life" under my breath. I did not take a picture of her this time, because it seemed silly to take a picture just because it was her first class at a NEW dance studio, so instead here is a picture of her a year ago before her FIRST first dance class:
Didn't I say in my last post that she hadn't changed much in the past year? I take that back. Look at the little BAYBEEEEEE!


Charlotte got her first-ish ice cream cone at the fair this week. We make banana "ice cream" at home all the time by jamming bananas through the vitamix and scooping it into cones, but this was the first REAL ice cream cone she's ever had, and I ate most of it :-)
The ice cream scoopers don't know what "just a little bit" means

The fair is so big and so arduous to do with kids, we ended up going twice last week, once to have dinner and do the animals, and again later for Emily to do a couple rides.
Peeking at the duckies

Love the ducky slide

Cute chicken!

Mean chicken

Zhyoonicorns love to drive lawn mowers

Charlotte's ready to go

But then she decides riding is better

Fall is the time for firsts and first-ishes, I suppose, which is part of the reason I love it! Now if only we could get rid of this hot, humid, rainy weather then I could start enjoying the other part of the reason I love Fall!

First day of Preschool, round 2!

Emily's first day of preschool this year:

And just for fun, Emily's first day of preschool last year:

Yes, I love dressing my daughter in plaid skirts.

Emily does not seem to have changed much. I am starting to think she is going to be like my sister, whose face still looks almost exactly the same as when she was 3. Charlotte has certainly changed though! She's been training hard this past year, growing and getting stronger so she can endure all the enthusiastic sister love...

...and looking up to her big sister

The first day of preschool went well. We reconnected with kids from her class last year, and she seems ok that she gets to SEE her two best friends on the way to class but not be in the same class as them, since Emily's going 5 days a week and their parents opted for the 3 day a week program. It appears that they get to play together on the playground on Monday Wednesday and Friday though, so that's kinda cool.

There were tears from some of the kids, and tears from some parents out in the parking lot. I was once again surprised at how calm I felt about it all. I realized once I got back out to the parking lot and saw some crying parents that I was supposed to be feeling sad too, but mostly it just felt like we never even left for the summer. I'll save my tears for next year, when she'll be at school ALL DAY EVERY DAY, at the same school as FIFTH GRADERS.

That one will be tough.

Charlotte was pretty sad to be leaving her sister behind though. She wasn't old enough to notice last year (or maybe she did notice but wasn't old enough to express herself) and I guess by the time she WAS old enough it was just the routine. But now, after having her buddy Emmy home with her all the time, I heard a lot of mournful mentions of "Emmy!" on the way to the gym.

Saying goodbye to the sister


Being a "second year mom" is also pretty neat. I already know all the teachers and the director, and several of the moms of Emily's classmates. I even know moms walking by to go pick their kids up from different classes. Now by "know", I mean "know their names and the names of their kids so I can ask how they're all doing", not "know and am good friends with", but still, I am able to put up a good show having small talk with lots of people who walk by. I am a fairly outgoing person, but not at first. I am quite shy about approaching new people, but once I have gotten to know them a bit, then I lose my shyness and can chat with the best of them. So having acquaintances from years before is helpful for me. Maybe this year I'll finally gather the courage to invite some kids over for a play date.

Maybe.

Pre Preschool

As I was hurrying everyone out the door yesterday evening and speeding us all to the church where Emily goes to preschool for her Meet The Teachers night I was hit with deja vu. Not surprising, since that's exactly what I did 3 out of 5 weekdays all last year (complete with the lateness part). I realized I've missed having Emily in preschool...not that I don't miss her when she's gone, but I miss the structure that school gives our lives. I am really awful at instituting structure myself. When Will isn't around to enforce a bedtime I tend to just wander around the house until 1AM or so accomplishing nothing and then fall asleep wherever, waking with the girls at 7 to curse myself for not going to bed earlier. I am appreciative of anything that forces me to be structured.

And Emily misses preschool too, especially her teachers, who it just so happens are her teachers again this year! When they were introduced at the little info session Emily started clapping wildly, and as soon as we went to her new classroom to check things out she positioned herself right between them and just spent some time gazing adoringly up at her heroes.

On the way home she asked if we could invite her teachers over to our house. I love that she loves them, and I love knowing that my daughter is spending 2.5 hours a day in a place she enjoys and benefits from so much.

So tomorrow, weeks it seems after everyone else has gone back to school, I will send my daughter back as well. And I will know that in the end, despite several years of freaking out about the "which preschool" decision, it appears I made the right one for her.

Gorham-it

When Will and I were about 24 and 23 respectively, we went to Peru. We each had 1 backpack for a 10 day trip, and I, even though I am a meticulous planner even left the end of our trip unplanned so that we could try flying by the seats of our pants. That didn't go so well, as Will got violently ill and I had to argue in my extremely limited Spanish to get us a desperate 24 hour long cross-country bus ride to Lima so we could make our flight home. However, I still remember sitting in an outdoor cafe one evening in Aguas Caillentes and watching a blonde-headed 3 year old European girl play quietly in the walkway while her young, hip parents enjoyed their dinner. Will and I were encouraged by the little family, and agreed that once we had kids we would get them used to traveling so that becoming parents wouldn't stop us from continuing to travel the world.

Now that I am actually in possession of those hypothetical kids we were talking about, the thought of figuring out how to fly them to and control them in a 3rd world country puts me in a cold sweat. I realize this is completely my fault; we haven't practiced traveling with them as much as we should, plus I am easily overwhelmed. There's also the fact that it's just plain difficult to provide for your childrens' needs in an unfamiliar environment while also trying to shield the rest of the world from their loud exuberance and fondness for knocking things over. Add in the pressure of doing all this while simultaneously shepherding them from activity to activity in order to make "precious memories" and it's a wonder we ever come back from vacation alive.

We spent the last week of August in the Adirondacks at YMCA Camp Gorham again, and it did not go nearly as well as it did last time. I had thought that NOT being pregnant and having a husband who was NOT currently in the middle of a 2-year long bout of "wasting disease" would make up for the fact that we had 2 kids this time, but apparently not. Part of the problem was that it is designed as a sleep-away camp for kids 6 and older, and it's only the last week of the summer that whole families are allowed to all go together. However many of the rules that are in place for the 6 year olds who are there on their own remain in place even when the parents are present, which results in ridiculously regimented activities. Many of the activities (horseback riding, zipline) were very attractive to little kids but had age limits for participation, and those that didn't have age limits were only available for random short periods of time. The girls desperately wanted to swim in the lake, but kids were only allowed to swim in certain areas for 2ish hours a day which would sometimes be in the middle of their extremely necessary nap time, or while Emily's favorite activity (the bouncing pillow) was open. When you DID swim, you had to wear a life vest (or "PFD") NOT water wings, which the kids were not used to and didn't like. So we spent a lot of time and patience getting the kids TO an activity we thought they'd enjoy only to leave with crying, disappointed girls despite our best efforts. Flexibility is so essential when you're traveling with young children, and all the rules about how we could do activities with our own children took pretty much every bit of flexibility away.

It's especially frustrating for Will because he has such good memories of camp from his childhood, but as adults we had no time to do anything WE wanted to do because it took 2+ adults to tend the always exhausted, usually disappointed kids at all times. The food was not quite as good this time either (lunch one day was chicken patties and french fries) and eating in a dining hall, while it was nice that I didn't have to make meals or do dishes, was kind of like going to a restaurant with the girls 3x a day for a week. Yuck.

The accommodations, which is what I was MOST worried about ahead of time, turned out to be fantastic. We were in a lodge that was just opened this year, and we had several showers and toilets (in stalls for privacy!) attached to our room, a separate room for the girls (totally key) and easy access to a full kitchen, which was great for keeping Will's ice pack for his back frozen and providing a quick and easy place for Emily to realize her dream of roasting marshmallows (on the gas stove, since having a campfire did not work out. AT CAMP.)

So we've decided with equal measures of sadness and relief that we won't be going to Camp Gorham for the next couple years. We'll try again when the girls are old enough to do more of the activities, but for now it's unfortunately more hassle and exhaustion than it's worth. I hold out hope that one day we can go back and enjoy it as it's meant to be enjoyed.

Some pics from the trip:

Soccer Mom

I signed Emily up for a little 5-week soccer class this spring. It's held at a park that is within walking distance of our house, this particular class takes kids as young as 3 years old, and the description didn't say that parent participation was required so it sounded like a winner to me! I figured I'd bike the girls to soccer in their little bike trailer, let Charlotte play outside while Emily kicked the ball around with 10 or so other kids and I chatted with other parents, and we'd all have a great time.

My first clue that things wouldn't be exactly as I had hoped was an email I received the week of her first class. It asked parents to show up "Wearing athletic clothes and a smile!" so that we could help. Uh oh. That wasn't part of the deal! I'm not AGAINST helping, but I never really played soccer plus I would have a crazy toddler to wrangle. This is why I had purposely picked the one that didn't say parent participation was required!

The weather has also been hideous every single Wednesday that she's had class. The first day it looked like this:

All the days since then it has looked like this (or worse):

To avoid being struck by lightning or dying of heat stroke, I have only actually biked the girls to the park once.

In addition to all of the other things working against us, there are approximately 2000 3-5 year olds in the class. Ok, maybe the number is actually closer to 20, but that is still A LOT of 3-5 year olds to handle for 3 coaches who seem to have minimal experience with kids. There is also a whole lot of pushing and crying (which I actually find kind of hilarious). That's where the parent participation comes in. There is not much parent chatting. Pretty much the only interaction the parents have is trying to make our children apologize to each other after getting into a fight. I try to keep my kid from stealing other people's balls, crying, screaming at the coaches, wandering off into a field etc., all the while being followed by this:


I deal with it though, because I want to expose Emily to as many activities as possible so she can make an educated decision as to what she wants to continue participating in when she gets older. I realize now that my expectations were a bit off, but I worry that this disorganized and usually uncomfortably hot experience is going to sour Emily to soccer for life.

Today though, despite the heat, things went pretty well. Either because some of the kids have just dropped out by this point or because of the heat index of 105, there were only 6(!) kids there today. Also I have wised up and I now come prepared and bring the whole house with me for our 45 minute class 5 minutes from our home:

Shaded chairs for relaxing, and a spray fan for cooling off

Emily actually played the whole time today without crying too!


AND Charlotte behaved pretty well, as long as I was providing copious amounts of snacks and juice boxes at all times
Put down the camera and gimme some snacks!

So maybe I will sign her up for soccer in the fall after all. Now I know to ask ahead of time how big the class will be, and hopefully thunderstorms and excessive heat will be less of a problem in the fall. By then I'm sure we'll have a whole new set of issues to deal with!

Oops

Things I kinda sorta should have thought through a little better before our trip:

#1 The Maids

I was going to cancel the maids for this week, because as nice as it would have been to come home from the airport to a nice clean house, I usually TRASH my house right before leaving on a trip. Clothes strewn all over the place from my packing, the girls toys laying everywhere because I've been focusing on getting everyone ready vs. picking up around the house, unsorted papers and recycling all over the kitchen etc. This time was no exception, but unfortunately I forgot to cancel the maids. The poor things still cleaned my house, but they had to scrape my laundry into a pile to vacuum the floor, pick up all the girls toys before cleaning the living room, and clear all of the various lotions and soaps that were discarded for being over 3oz off of my bathroom counter. I'm extremely embarassed to think about all the extra things they had to do, especially considering I didn't leave a check for them :-(

#2 Will's Business Trip

We planned the trip to Jamaica first, but it turned out Will has a business trip that starts today. From the time our plane from Jamaica landed to the time Will's plane to Orlando was scheduled to take off was about 70 hours. As an abstract idea it seemed ok, in practice it's brutal, both for Will who has to actually DO the traveling, and for me who now has to be a single parent for a couple days right when it's the most tough anyway (It always seems like the kids are worse when you're getting used to having them around again after not being with them for awhile). Oh well, at least I'm well-rested.


#3 Our CSA

In my defense, this wasn't REALLY my fault since our CSA didn't start until the 3rd week of June last year, but when I came home and finally checked my voicemail (I was embarassed about the maids and didn't want to hear the message I suspected they had left so I didn't actually listen to them until Sunday) there was a message telling me to come pick up my veggies on Friday. I was able to get them today, but we had gone to the farmer's market on Saturday so now we're drowning in lettuce and spinach. I seriously need to eat salads for breakfast, lunch, and dinner this week, especially since Will isn't around this to help me finish it all!

#4 My Old Roommate's Wedding

The day we left, my old roommate from junior year of college got married. She and her new husband met and started dating when we were juniors in college, and that time is getting frighteningly long ago for me so it's safe to say this wedding has been a long time coming. Even though she has lived in Atlanta and now Boston since I saw her last, she was getting married near here so it would've been easy to go. Unfortunately we couldn't, which makes me very sad :-(

#5 Canceling the mail

I DID remember to cancel the mail, only to realize that since we'd be gone over Memorial Day there were only actually 2 mail days that we'd miss. Hardly worth cancelling, but oh well. Except that we still don't have any mail and it was supposed to be delivered on Thursday. I don't think I can fix this online, so I will have to call the post office or go in, because either they screwed up (in which case I am worried about where my mail IS right now) or I screwed up and accidentally told them to stop the mail for a month or something crazy like that (in which case I am not as worried about where my mail IS, but would still like to get it because there are probably some bills in there waiting for me). Hopefully they're not just dumping it down a hole somewhere.

Some of these issues could've been avoided with a bit more forethought, some couldn't, but I'm hoping when I plan our next trip that I will do a little better job of thinking ahead so I can save us some embarassment, exhaustion, disappointment, lack of mail and excess of greens.

Everybody sing Jamaica!

Sorry, whenever I think of the word "Jamaica", this song pops into my head.

Will and I took a quick (4 nights) trip to Jamaica last week. We used to go to the Caribbean all the time back when we were young, childless newlyweds, but having kiddoes curtailed that pretty quick. I have taken a couple trips without Emily since she was born, but I've never left Charlotte for longer than 1 night and I've never left the country since having kids so this was a big hairy deal for me. We decided on Jamaica because #1 We'd never been before and #2 We could get a direct flight from Baltimore. If I was leaving my kids, I didn't want to make the trip any longer with layovers!

I was kind of a wreck when I left...Emily is old enough now to realize what is going on and she was a bit sad I was leaving, especially since she asks me practically daily if she can fly in an airplane or go to the beach and here we were doing both without her. I cried as we drove away, and was feeling pretty sick to my stomach as we headed to the airport. Partially because I haven't traveled (especially internationally) in so long, and partially because I was going to be so far away from my kids and difficult to reach.

But I finally chilled out a bit when we got to Jamaica, and we ended up having a great time. I appreciate being able to relax and do whatever *I* want to do so much more now that I have kids. Whenever I'd miss the girls (for example when a family with a 4 year old girl and a 1 year old girl wearing pink tiaras sat down at the table next to us at breakfast) I'd avert my gaze to a kid acting bratty (there were usually a couple of those close by too) and feel glad that I wasn't currently trying to control my kids in a restaurant. We spent our time wandering, laying on the beach and hanging out in the pool getting drunk in the middle of the day on our own schedule, instead of standing by the playground trying to convince our kids it was time to go eat or go back to the room for a nap.

We even went for massages, which is not unique for me, but is very out of the ordinary for Will. His last massage was on our honeymoon 7.5 years ago, and he hated it. He enjoyed this massage, although he had to tell his masseuse to go easier on him a couple times. Apparently Jamaican masseuses are beasts, because I finally met my match in a masseuse as well. I usually like a hard massage...my sister and I used to "work out the knots" in each other's backs growing up, which was basically just taking out our pent-up aggressions on each other, so I'm accustomed to pain during a massage and I even welcome it because I know that I will feel better and looser the next day if the masseuse really goes at it. But this woman was nuts. I ALMOST made it through the massage, but at one point I was in so much pain that when I opened my eyes my vision slid sideways a bit so I decided that rather than passing out I would tell her to ease up, something that was not easy for me to do because I had never had to do it before! I felt defeated until a couple hours later, when I noticed my back looked like this:

Not normal. It looks like something tried to claw its way through my skin, but really she managed to make those marks with her elbow. Yeouch! I couldn't stand anyone touching my back for 3 days afterward.

Luckily, the massage was the most stressful part of my trip (kind of backwards, isn't it?) and now that I've done my first international jaunt away from the girls I think future trips will be easier.