Thursday, May 3, 2012

Hungry Games

After Lauren's comment on yesterday's post, I decided to treat myself to a banana with a healthy slap of peanut butter on it that made me feel wonderfully, joyously full compared to the rest of the day.  Will was getting home extra-late after a couple days away on a business trip, I was getting really snippy with the girls, and I figured that since I work out I really should eat at least A LITTLE more than 1000 calories a day.  I spoke to a nutritionist awhile ago though, and when I asked her what was wrong with just eating 1000 well-balanced calories a day until you reach your weight goal, she said nothing and in fact that is pretty much the best and fastest HEALTHY way to lose weight, it's just so unpleasant that most people can't do it for long without feeling deprived so they inevitably crack and gain the weight back.

So I almost feel like if I CAN'T do it then I'm lame and can't overcome my stupid stomach telling me I need more food when really I don't.  Maybe I'm also trying to punish myself for being so naughty last week.  Either way, I decided that I would eat pretty much the same way today that I ate the last two days using Fast Track as a base but then allowing myself to add bits here and there as I go if I get too hungry.  And you know what?  I didn't really have to add many bits and it wasn't as difficult today.  Maybe I just had to get used to this way of eating after having eaten way more than I needed to for awhile.  

I did add some walnuts to the top of my usual oatmeal though, because I think eating NO fat until right before dinner was contributing heavily to the feelings of hunger.

1/2 cup dry oats cooked with 1/2 cup nonfat milk, 1/2 cup water and 1/2 chopped apple, sprinkled with cinnamon and some walnuts
 While breakfast was being made, I also made myself a veggie "omelette" (I'd like to see even a professional omelette guy make an attractive 6 egg white omelette), which I took with me and ate around 10:30.

1 cup organic boxed egg whites (about 6 eggs worth), chopped broccoli, mushrooms and onions plus some chopped fresh chives, salt and pepper and salsa

When we got back from preschool I accidentally left my camera in the car and was too lazy to go out and get it for awhile.  You can probably tell from the pictures when I finally decided to walk out there and get it. 

My lunch salad, of course, paled in comparison to my usual salads.  I was all prepared to add extra goodies to it today, but for some reason it didn't seem quite as paltry as it has the last two days.

Mixed greens, 1/2 cup kidney beans, chopped purple cabbage, orange bell pepper, broccoli, a couple cherry tomatoes, 1 oz cabot 50% light cheddar, salsa
Then the maids arrived right as I was about to take Charlotte up for her nap, so I got busy distracting girls in the basement.  I sneaked upstairs at one point to make myself an afternoon snack when the hunger became too great.

8oz nonfat plain greek yogurt, 1/2 cup chopped strawberries, 3 drops stevia, 1 Tbsp cocoa powder, splash vanilla extract
 I can just barely stomach plain yogurt this way.

I managed to hold off until 4:00 before I had another snack.

an apple, 12 tamari almonds
And here is the good part of Fast Track.  Over the past couple days I have made extra of various foods so when I got cripplingly hungry at 5PM I just snagged a hamburger from the fridge.

I tried to wait a bit for the next portion of my dinner to space it out and make it last longer, but my brain  hadn't gotten the message yet that I had just eaten a hamburger and the ravenoussness was still there.  I didn't feel like waiting 20 minutes for my brain to catch up so I just went to get my portion of a sweet potato.  At least I tried to go get it.  It was buried in the back of the fridge and after an increasingly panicked search I texted Will to see if he could tell me more specifically where he had put it.  He helpfully texted me back that it was "open in the fridge".  I almost said things that would've required the use of this card later:

SO apropos.  Maybe I'll print some of these out to keep in my pocket.

I did eventually find the potato though, and after flaying it so that I could sprinkle tasty seasonings on top I made short work of it.

A bit later I decided to make something that I could just eat and eat until I was full and not feel guilty about.  Good thing I picked up a Costco-sized bag of brussels sprouts today.

Sprouts with salt, pepper, garlic powder and oregano-infused balsamic

While Will was putting the extremely loud and excited girls to bed, I had a banana with PB

Then I closed up the kitchen and called it a day eating-wise.

Actually I didn't close up the kitchen.  I always read that as a suggestion on How to Lose Weight in 20 Easy Steps, None of Which are Actually Eat Less or Exercise articles but my kitchen is open to the rest of the house.  My grandparents house had doors to the kitchen that would close and lock, but I haven't seen a house like that in a long time and I know it's probably a figurative closing of the kitchen they're talking about but seriously, nothing short of a locked door would keep me out of the kitchen if I was feeling panicky-snacky so for my purposes it might as well be literal.  And it's something I can't do.  Damn these modern open floor plans.

 So ANYWAY, minus the nut products and a couple extra pieces of fruit that was a day on Fast Track.  It really shouldn't be LOOKS like a lot of food and it's definitely well-balanced and enough to survive on.  It truly isn't THAT much different from what I eat anyway when I'm eating well except for the less-than-generous lunch salad (and the beer and dessert I usually have, but those do little to affect my hunger during the daytime anyway).  I think the problem is that it's just enough to curb my hunger each time I eat, not enough to get fully satisfied so when my hunger comes back it does so quickly and with the force of a heard of stampeding cattle.  Which I feel like I could easily eat.

I guess I'll let the nuts stay on my oatmeal and I'll keep having my fruit and peanut butter as an evening snack.  And I'll try to avoid the just-baked cupcakes sitting on my counter until such a time as I can enjoy one in an appropriate and dignified manner (i.e. relished singly and slowly at Emily's birthday party, not scarfed in numerous quantities off the counter while no one is looking).

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