Monday, February 25, 2008


It sounds kind of pretty, doesn't it? Like a combination between roses, which are my favorite flower, and areola, which are probably not the most interesting or attractive part of the female anatomy, but we'd look kinda weird without them. Roseola sounds like it could be something feminine and pretty.

Well I look neither feminine nor pretty right now, because my baby, as it turns out, has Roseola. She got a high fever on Thursday, a higher fever on Friday, then Saturday and Sunday she seemed a bit better, although she still had bouts of fussy clingyness. Today though, she is definitely feeling bad again, and she's covered in an itchy red rash, poor baby. She hasn't been sleeping much at all, so that means I haven't either. Will has been out of town, so it has been up to me to hold the poor fussy girl all day every day, so I haven't showered in awhile. Will came back from his business trip to Orlando today, and I usually try to gussy myself up a bit when I go to meet him at the airport, but today he was greeted by a frizzy-haired, sunken-eyed stained-shirted wife and a spotty, listless baby. I'll bet he wishes he was still in Orlando.

There are bad things about the Roseola...first and foremost the fact that my baby is sick and suffering which makes me feel terrible. I blame myself (of course, because I'm a mother and so am subject to mommy guilt) because 2 weeks ago I started hitting the gym pretty hard, so Emily ended up at the gym daycare for an hour or two while I was working out. The gym felt like a luxury; a remnant of my past life when I would spend time there 6 days a week and my body reflected it. It felt good to recapture a bit of that feeling. But looking back, it seems like I was needlessly exposing my baby to illnesses just so I could go play :-( It was also most unfortunate that Emily got sick while Will was away, so even when I was so exhausted I couldn't take anymore screaming, I had to because there was no one else to do it.

There are good things too though. Roseola is something you get once and then in most cases you are immune to it for the rest of your life, so it's building her immune system and this is the only time she'll have to deal with it. Because of that, it's something adults don't usually get, so I can stop worrying that I will catch what she has. Likewise, when we have more kids and they end up with it, I won't have to worry that Emily will get it again. It's also a disease for which there is no cure or therapy, so I can stop feeling bad that I should've taken Emily to the Pediatrician on Friday (instead of just calling for advice) and it would've saved her some misery. Even if I had gone in on Friday, there's nothing they could've done, plus they probably wouldn't have known what she had because the dead giveaway for Roseola is the rash, and she didn't develop that until today. If I had taken her in on Friday, I probably would've freaked and taken her in again today when I saw the rash develop.

It's also a good thing in a way that Will wasn't here the last couple nights, because instead of both of us being exhausted and frazzled, I am exhausted and frazzled while he owes me bigtime! If Emily sleeps like crap again tonight, Will is going to take a sick day and take over responsibility for the girlie for 2 hours or so tomorrow so I can get a nap, and that sounds just fantastic to me! Again, I am nothing if not an optimist!

So hopefully after tomorrow, Emily will be feeling better, I will be feeling better and life will be settling back down again. Oh, and the electrician FINALLY called me back, and they're coming to install the light fixtures tomorrow. Plus, amazing superwoman that I am, I was able to get the house clean and keep it clean through all of this, so that pretty much checks everything off my "getting life under control" list. Now actually FEELING like my life is under control, that is another story.

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