Friday, May 29, 2009

Pregnancy post

I haven't posted for awhile because I have been trying to wait until something non pregnancy-related and sufficiently entertaining to blog about happened to me. Since I found out I was pregnant almost all of my posts have at least mentioned my pregnancy. However it's kind of an all-consuming biggest project I have going on these days, so I may never post again if I try not to mention pregnancy. So I guess you just have to deal with the fact that I'll be talking about it for the next 8 or so months.

So here it is! The post I've been trying not to write! A post that's ALL ABOUT ME BEING PREGNANT!

So yeah. I'm pregnant. And it's much harder this time around. When I was pregnant with Emily, I only had about a week where I felt slightly queasy if I got too hungry. I slept 8 hours a night, then got up and jogged 2 miles every morning. I traveled to Mexico and Japan. Emily never kept me awake with kicks to the liver. I pretty much figured I was a pregnancy viking.

But this time? I'm nauseous pretty much all day. All that appeals to me are carbs and dairy. If I smell vegetables or meat (or heaven forbid, fish) cooking, I start to gag. I am sleeping 9+ hours a night, but don't ask me to function without an afternoon nap. Exercise? Yeah, that's not happening.

I made plans to take a pilates and bodyjam class on Friday, but Emily didn't take a nap, plus all sorts of people called me and stopped by the house so I didn't get a nap. I was panicky-tired, but my mother-in-law was coming over to babysit Emily, so I went ahead and went to the gym since I can't really sleep when Emily's awake and there are people in my house anyway.

Well I called Will on my way to the gym, and I just broke down crying. "I am!" I sniffled. "And I want to eat SOMETHING that doesn't turn my stomach." So instead of working out, I abandoned my long-suffering friend Carolyn to yet another solitary workout, bought some food at Common Market, ate it in my car and then fell asleep and drooled all over myself in a busy public parking lot. Pregnancy is already embarrassing me, and I haven't even been asked to pee in a tiny cup with my giant belly blocking my view of the proceedings or showed a whole roomful of people my world yet.

I DO realize how lucky I am. Some women throw up several times a day the entire time they're pregnant. Some women can't get pregnant. Some women wish they had morning sickness because at least it's assurance in these iffy early weeks that things are progressing as they should. But since I had such a wonderful pregnancy last time, I can't help but compare it to this one and wish that I had been sick back when I didn't have a demanding little toddler to take care of (Mommy no lay down! Mommy go outside with Emmy!)

Childbirth is painful, but at least you know that as soon as the suffering is over, you'll get to meet your baby. Morning sickness happens months before you even feel the baby moving. Even having been pregnant before, the baby is kind of still an abstract idea at this point but my nausea is not, so I have to keep reminding myself why it feels like I've had the flu for 2 weeks, and probably will for the next 4 weeks.

Maybe the sickness means I'm having a boy this time. Or (oh my God) twins. I actually have started showing a bit this week. Not that I look pregnant yet or anything, but my tummy has pooched out a bit even though I haven't gained any weight yet, so things are already rearranging in there. Hopefully just because this is my second pregnancy, and not because I'm pregnant with (oh my God) twins. Can you tell I'm worried about having twins? If only my doctor was kind and did ultrasounds in the first trimester. Maybe if I act freaked out enough she'll do one for me.

1 more month until the second trimester.

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