Will got home just in time for me to tag him and run out the door to Zumba this evening, and I got there right as they were starting to do "Mueve la Pompa". I hate that dance, both because the instructor has us do it in a circle so everyone is always crashing into each other because it's too crowded and also because it just makes me sad to remember a couple years ago when Kevan used to do that song in his salsa class (the RIGHT way!) and how no class will ever be as awesome as that one was. Alas. Oh, and I ALSO hate that song because people sneak into class while we're in a circle and then try to stand in front of me when we go back to our normal spots. So even though I was late already I just hung out and watched that one through the door. I had to make a point. I didn't want to be one of THOSE people.
Then I went to Weight Watchers. Ugh. I had managed to be good about half the time this week so I was hoping I had at least broken even, maybe even lost a tiny bit of weight, but no. I was up 1.2 pounds. Super-lame. Good inspiration for me though. I am planning on going to the Flying Dog Halloween party on Friday and my goal is to enjoy myself but to get RIGHT BACK ON TRACK the next day. Another of my big problems (and I have quite a few of them) is that once I feel like I've blown it I continue to eat whatever I want for days or even weeks afterward :-( I would really love to actually have a loss I'm proud to report at my meeting next week.
I did an interesting experiment these past two days (well, interesting to me anyway). On the one hand, I feel like just eating "mindfully" is a healthier way to go about losing weight, as opposed to counting points and tracking everything and having to be so obsessive about your food. However, if I knew how to control myself when it comes to food then I would already BE at a healthy weight, so I feel a bit lost sometimes if I don't have my points to go on. Really, I've been counting points off and on for almost 10 years so it feels wrong not to! But for the past 2 days, instead of counting my points and tracking everything I ate, I was able to maintain control and just ate all healthy things only when I was hungry. I sat down just now and plugged everything retroactively into my tracker and you know what? I ate exactly 29 points today, which is my points target. I don't really know what the takeaway point is from this, maybe I DON'T have to track every single day? Maybe I don't have to see not tracking for a day as such a "failure"? Maybe thinking about not tracking occasionally is a dangerous slippery slope? It all depends on what my frame of mind is when it comes time to select my next item of food...sometimes it's ok to give myself a little freedom, sometimes it's dangerous, and it's tough to know when it's ok and when it's not! All things I will have to ponder and experiment with a bit more, I suppose.